Sermon On The Mound

The stadium grew quiet
As Jesus took the field
He wasn't looking happy
Stepped right into my grill
"What's that you think your pitchin'?"
He sprayed into my eye
"The Devil's up to bat
And he's wearing a disguise"

"War has been declared
You can't turn the other cheek
It's time to plant your foot
Wind up and bring the heat!"

The bases are all loaded
With demons on the run
The outfield's moving back
'Cause the batter's got a gun
It's the bottom of the ninth
On this sacred battleground
But Jesus ain't done preachin'
His sermon on the mound

While Jesus was still standing there
The Devil winked and grinned
He spat into the dust
And checked his grip again
Jesus said, "Don't worry
Have faith, I've got a plan"
He slapped me on the shoulder
Then waved to the fans

My nervous knees were shaking
My uniform was drenched
But Jesus smiled and turned
Then jogged back to the bench

Well, I waved off the curve
No way the Devil's walkin'
I nodded to the one
And let my fastball do the talking
90 miles per hour
Inside and at his knees
The Devil over-swung
And hit it straight back to me

First and second took a lead
Third just stood there watching
Easy one, two, three
And the faithful just keep talkin'... smile