JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback Lyric Feedback Forum 3 "BMOC" -- Last Rewrite...in 1st post, beneath original version

HEY...DID A LITTLE RE-WRITING...GOT THE RIGHT BAD GUY THIS TIME....SKIP MY COMMENTS HERE, AND JUST SCOOT DOWN TO THE RED EDITS....ANY THOUGHTS? 9/16/07 EDIT

Well, I finally followed thru on my rewrite on this song. I must say, I spent way too much time on it (albeit, in between other life things I had going on), but I'm not even so sure it was worth the effort...I think I tried to take in too many conflicting suggestions, and ended up with an "Oh, hmmm...interesting..." kind of lyric. PLUS, I made the strategical error of popping in now and again, looking for inspiration to persevere...and instead I sabotaged myself by seeing other people tossing up songs like confetti.

BUT, I'm not yet ready to throw in the lyricist towel...So please let me know what you think. I don't anticipate spending much more time with it, so feel free to comment away....

Thanks too, for being so patient, and I'm sorry I haven't been able to keep up with the rest of the gang's activities.... Hopefully this weekend.....

So without further ado,


BMOC REVISED 9/14© Lyrics 2007 Beth Williams

She should’ve known better
But she was drawn to that letter
The “D” on his varsity jacket
Captain of the football team
Starring in her every dream
He was the Big Man on Campus

Pushed by drinks and a dare
She asked him then and there
If he believed in love at first sight
First amused by her nerve
Then aroused by each curve
He slyly said “not ‘til tonight”

Chorus:
In their little school pond
He had risen to the top
A magnet for all
The cream of the crop
Too caught up in his glory
To worry how it’d be
She set off into the real world
With her own BMOC

Soon enough her fantasy
Was challenged by the reality
Of his basking in the shadows of his moments in the sun
But too proud to admit it
For seven years she hid it
TIL HE TRIED TO PASS HER OFF TO SOME BUDDIES, "JUST FOR FUN"

Bridge:
That dare had set in motion
Like a sorcerer’s potion
A union that was not meant to be
She’d been envied in school
Now she was stuck and a fool
Listening to re-runs of 1983

Chorus:
In the world where they met
She’d worn his jacket with pride
But while she had outgrown it
He was still trapped inside.
It was time now to leave him
She no longer had to be
In the audience held captive
By THAT CHAMPION S.O.B.