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Foray
by Fdemetrio - 04/27/25 02:21 PM
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Foxwarren
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/26/25 10:07 PM
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Foxwarren
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/26/25 10:06 PM
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Bellhead
by Gary E. Andrews - 04/25/25 11:38 PM
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788
Top 40 Poster
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Top 40 Poster
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,788 |
Hi Beth,
You rewrite was well done and really tightened your lyric. I think you have a clever way of writing, complete with rhymes and in this case some sarcasm thrown in for good measure. This song does succeed in telling a story (albeit not a happy one). I like the Big Man on Campus concept but wonder if it will confuse listeners who are an unfamiliar with the acronym BMOC??? I understand using the "groping" line to set an example of just how bad things had gotten, but I wonder if an artist would want to sing that. Didn't know if you could somehow just refer to him as the Big Man on Campus and not use BMOC and use another scenario instead of the "groping line"??? Just my opinion of course.
I wanted to compliment you on these really clever lines:
If he believed in love at first sight First amused by her nerve Then aroused by each curve He slyly said “not ‘til tonight”
and
In the world where they met She’d worn his jacket with pride But while she had outgrown it He was still trapped inside.
Best, Lynn
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Entire Thread
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"BMOC" -- Last Rewrite...in 1st post, beneath original version
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 06:22 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Calvin
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09/10/07 11:20 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 03:25 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Wyman Lloyd (D)
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09/10/07 03:51 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Sofa King Bixby
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09/10/07 04:02 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 04:27 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 04:16 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Janice Hopkins
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09/10/07 03:56 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 04:23 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Janice Hopkins
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09/10/07 04:29 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 09:34 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Joice Marie
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09/10/07 04:35 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 09:39 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)
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09/10/07 05:15 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 09:45 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Janice Hopkins
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09/10/07 09:58 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Kaley Willow
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09/10/07 11:46 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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John W. Selleck
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09/10/07 11:59 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Richard G Blum (D)
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09/11/07 12:53 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 01:55 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 04:38 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 04:43 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 04:48 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Bobbie Gallup (D)
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09/11/07 05:44 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 06:28 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Derek Hines
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09/11/07 12:32 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 03:30 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Richard G Blum (D)
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09/11/07 04:41 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/12/07 01:51 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PogoDog
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09/11/07 06:19 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/12/07 01:52 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/14/07 05:57 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 03:57 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PogoDog
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09/15/07 11:35 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PeterJ
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09/15/07 11:59 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 06:47 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 06:44 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!) *DELETED*
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Derek Hines
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09/15/07 12:34 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Wyman Lloyd (D)
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09/15/07 04:55 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 06:56 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Derek Hines
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09/15/07 05:17 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Lynn Orloff
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09/15/07 05:53 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 07:16 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 07:02 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PogoDog
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09/16/07 03:12 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Wyman Lloyd (D)
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09/16/07 03:50 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 05:55 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Kaley Willow
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09/16/07 05:14 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 05:32 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 10:18 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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John Voorpostel
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09/16/07 10:27 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 11:33 PM
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