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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,697
Top 50 Poster
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Top 50 Poster
Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 4,697 |
Beth,
I like this one alot and can relate to it. We all knew guys like that in school. When we see them at the reunion, they are still fully grounded in their youth and we feel relief that we had the good sense to look for someone who offered more.
This is very well written. It does flow nicely. The only nit I have is that maybe you could use the bridge a little more effectively to resolve the situation. It wasn't quite clear to me what the absolute outcome was going to be. I hear it possibly as country or maybe pop. What did you hear in your head? It's doing great though. Love the hook.
Later,
Jan
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Entire Thread
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"BMOC" -- Last Rewrite...in 1st post, beneath original version
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 06:22 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Calvin
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09/10/07 11:20 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 03:25 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Wyman Lloyd (D)
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09/10/07 03:51 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Sofa King Bixby
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09/10/07 04:02 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 04:27 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 04:16 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Janice Hopkins
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09/10/07 03:56 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 04:23 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Janice Hopkins
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09/10/07 04:29 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 09:34 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Joice Marie
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09/10/07 04:35 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 09:39 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)
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09/10/07 05:15 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 09:45 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Janice Hopkins
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09/10/07 09:58 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Kaley Willow
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09/10/07 11:46 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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John W. Selleck
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09/10/07 11:59 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Richard G Blum (D)
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09/11/07 12:53 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 01:55 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 04:38 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 04:43 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 04:48 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Bobbie Gallup (D)
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09/11/07 05:44 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 06:28 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Derek Hines
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09/11/07 12:32 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 03:30 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Richard G Blum (D)
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09/11/07 04:41 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/12/07 01:51 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PogoDog
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09/11/07 06:19 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/12/07 01:52 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/14/07 05:57 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 03:57 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PogoDog
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09/15/07 11:35 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PeterJ
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09/15/07 11:59 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 06:47 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 06:44 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!) *DELETED*
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Derek Hines
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09/15/07 12:34 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Wyman Lloyd (D)
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09/15/07 04:55 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 06:56 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Derek Hines
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09/15/07 05:17 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Lynn Orloff
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09/15/07 05:53 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 07:16 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 07:02 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PogoDog
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09/16/07 03:12 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Wyman Lloyd (D)
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09/16/07 03:50 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 05:55 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Kaley Willow
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09/16/07 05:14 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 05:32 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 10:18 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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John Voorpostel
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09/16/07 10:27 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 11:33 PM
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"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
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