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Ndichu
by Gary E. Andrews - 02/10/25 09:52 PM
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Top 30 Poster
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OP
Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386 |
HEY...DID A LITTLE RE-WRITING...GOT THE RIGHT BAD GUY THIS TIME....SKIP MY COMMENTS HERE, AND JUST SCOOT DOWN TO THE RED EDITS....ANY THOUGHTS? 9/16/07 EDITWell, I finally followed thru on my rewrite on this song. I must say, I spent way too much time on it (albeit, in between other life things I had going on), but I'm not even so sure it was worth the effort...I think I tried to take in too many conflicting suggestions, and ended up with an "Oh, hmmm...interesting..." kind of lyric. PLUS, I made the strategical error of popping in now and again, looking for inspiration to persevere...and instead I sabotaged myself by seeing other people tossing up songs like confetti.  BUT, I'm not yet ready to throw in the lyricist towel...So please let me know what you think. I don't anticipate spending much more time with it, so feel free to comment away.... Thanks too, for being so patient, and I'm sorry I haven't been able to keep up with the rest of the gang's activities.... Hopefully this weekend.....  So without further ado, BMOC REVISED 9/14© Lyrics 2007 Beth Williams She should’ve known better But she was drawn to that letter The “D” on his varsity jacket Captain of the football team Starring in her every dream He was the Big Man on Campus Pushed by drinks and a dare She asked him then and there If he believed in love at first sight First amused by her nerve Then aroused by each curve He slyly said “not ‘til tonight” Chorus: In their little school pond He had risen to the top A magnet for all The cream of the crop Too caught up in his glory To worry how it’d be She set off into the real world With her own BMOC Soon enough her fantasy Was challenged by the reality Of his basking in the shadows of his moments in the sun But too proud to admit it For seven years she hid it TIL HE TRIED TO PASS HER OFF TO SOME BUDDIES, "JUST FOR FUN"Bridge: That dare had set in motion Like a sorcerer’s potion A union that was not meant to be She’d been envied in school Now she was stuck and a fool Listening to re-runs of 1983 Chorus: In the world where they met She’d worn his jacket with pride But while she had outgrown it He was still trapped inside. It was time now to leave him She no longer had to be In the audience held captive By THAT CHAMPION S.O.B.
Last edited by Beth G. Williams; 09/16/07 05:11 PM.
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Entire Thread
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"BMOC" -- Last Rewrite...in 1st post, beneath original version
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 06:22 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Calvin
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09/10/07 11:20 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 03:25 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Wyman Lloyd (D)
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09/10/07 03:51 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Sofa King Bixby
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09/10/07 04:02 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 04:27 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 04:16 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Janice Hopkins
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09/10/07 03:56 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 04:23 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Janice Hopkins
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09/10/07 04:29 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 09:34 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Joice Marie
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09/10/07 04:35 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 09:39 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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"Tampa Stan" Good (D)
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09/10/07 05:15 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/10/07 09:45 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Janice Hopkins
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09/10/07 09:58 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Kaley Willow
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09/10/07 11:46 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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John W. Selleck
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09/10/07 11:59 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Richard G Blum (D)
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09/11/07 12:53 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 01:55 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 04:38 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 04:43 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 04:48 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Bobbie Gallup (D)
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09/11/07 05:44 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 06:28 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Derek Hines
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09/11/07 12:32 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/11/07 03:30 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Richard G Blum (D)
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09/11/07 04:41 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/12/07 01:51 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PogoDog
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09/11/07 06:19 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/12/07 01:52 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/14/07 05:57 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 03:57 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PogoDog
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09/15/07 11:35 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PeterJ
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09/15/07 11:59 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 06:47 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 06:44 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!) *DELETED*
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Derek Hines
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09/15/07 12:34 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Wyman Lloyd (D)
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09/15/07 04:55 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 06:56 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Derek Hines
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09/15/07 05:17 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Lynn Orloff
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09/15/07 05:53 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 07:16 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/15/07 07:02 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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PogoDog
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09/16/07 03:12 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Wyman Lloyd (D)
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09/16/07 03:50 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 05:55 AM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Kaley Willow
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09/16/07 05:14 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 05:32 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 10:18 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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John Voorpostel
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09/16/07 10:27 PM
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Re: "BMOC" -- (you're RIGHT, it DOES spell COMB backwards!)
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Beth G. Williams
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09/16/07 11:33 PM
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