Originally Posted by JAPOV
Firstly, I'm disabled... So, I never fill my cart at the grocery store. I plan on quick trips once a week, never on weekends, just the essentials, so I can get in and get out... but I NEVER get a damn parking space up front. In fact, if you wait long enough, you'll see employees walk out to their vehicles, parked in the handicap spaces, have a smoke and a Coke, then stroll back in to work... Forget about the motor carts; They're always scattered all over the parking lot and dead as door knobs.

Once I finally make it through the front doors, from the back of the lot, with my cane in my wobbly and beat up buggy... I'm halted by a group of loudly laughing patrons blocking foot-traffic between the Christmas displays, discussing the price of eggnog and exchanging Thanksgiving photos. After about 30 seconds of politely waiting, I loudly clear my throat... They take the hint and I happily escape their boisterous banality. The victory is short lived however... as every frickin' isle is seemingly packed with relatives of the same heedless pedestrians.

At this point, presumably like most people these days , I habitually bypass all the overpriced inventory of seasonal crap that I used to enjoy, along with the bins of overstocked turkeys, and just settle for the minimal overpriced crap that I can get by with. Again, being the intelligent ape among zombies, I limit myself only to what will fit in the child seat of my battered cart to save time at check-out.

FUKK! Nobody can tell where the end of the line is at check-out...

Disgusted, I pull my cane from my buggered buggy, shove it somewhere over into women's underwear and limp away. Now, I console myself for parking in the farthest reaches of the lot... Leaving presents no challenge. Screw Bidenomics, screw Chinese imports, and screw Walmart!

On the way home, I wait 15 minutes trapped in a McDonald's drive through... I pay $15 for a lamp dried cheeseburger and cold fries which now reside in my kitchen trashcan. I drank the diet Dr Pepper...

Merry Fukn' X-mass!

Update...
Got up at 0 dark thirty this morning and tried again...
Still didn't get a parking space, but wasn't stupid enough to even try since all lanes were blocked by the slow moving elderly... patiently waiting... God bless'em... I parked in the back.

Much less of a crowd in the early hours... but, did I mention "slow motion"? I keep my eyes down, take a breath, and remind myself of the inevitability of life. Besides, relatively speaking, I still manage to grab what I need and head to check-out in a timely manner. I even lucked out finding a buggy that rolled straight.

"Self check-out"...
The concept is valid, but the application...?
Have you ever waited and watched an elderly woman in a motor cart at self check out? I couldn't stand it any longer... I limped foreword and bagged her groceries... she was very grateful.

Finally, my turn.
After searching through the alphabetical options and weighing my single yellow onion, because the code sticker wouldn't work, the scanner had a change of mind as I removed it from the scale and rang it up twice... It only took me a second to look around and realize there was no one nearby to help. "Weight required" the screen demands... Screw'it, I weighed it again. Now, I'm leaning over my cart licking my fingertips trying to get enough friction to open the plastic bags correctly... I've had plenty of practice at this point so I'm getting pretty good at it; Not worried at all about how sanitary the practice is.... The rest of my items go without a hitch.

Almost Home!
I insert my chipcard... "error". I remove and forcefully re-insert my chipcard and hold it in place... success.
"How would you like your receipt" the screen asks? "You're already tracking every fukn' thing I do with this card," I mumble out loud... Why isn't there an option for "No receipt"? I choose print and leave it in the buggy for the sleepy greeter.
"How would you rate our service" the screen proudly displays with happy yellow stars...? That's a no brainer.

It occurs to me that the eggheads responsible for the dysfunctional logistics regarding the daily management of a Walmart... can probably afford to shop at Publix.

I grabbed another onion on the way out... nobody noticed.