JPF Home Page Forums General Messages General Message Forum New perspective.

Hello, fellow music heathens!!



It has been a bit since my last serious post and I thought I'd share some things, as the title would imply.....a new perspective. In light of a few major life events I have experienced in the last six months, a few things have been cemented in the way I see the world these days. I am now 60 years old (I really need to change that profile picture, it's almost 20 years old now)....and am about to turn 61....and to tell the truth, I am surprised I made it this far. I realized that I have spent a major part of that 60 years creating music, writing songs and watching the whole of the industry and art form change drastically before my very eyes and ears, but THAT is a whole other thread.

My desire and drive to keep creating said music and songs have taken a few hits over the years, but the effects of those hits were short lived because I love doing it so much. Sitting down with my trusty old acoustic, not knowing what was going to spill out of me.....or thin air.....take your pick.......and slowly hearing it form over the span of a few hours has always been amazing enough in itself, let alone fine tuning it and recording a finished piece of work. I used to fire up the 4 track cassette recorder in the old days, 6 to 12 songs lined up and ready. I would PLAY the drum machine (yamaha RX15..for all you nerds) and lay down all 6 drum tracks from memory in one sitting. Then I would do the same with bass lines, all 6 in a row......then the guitar tracks ect......you get the picture. These sessions would typically be on a saturday, starting around mid day and ending in early evening. When finished, I would have 6 or more new songs on tape.......with a success rate of about fifty percent, meaning usually three of them didn't turn out so good.

These "batch" recording sessions were not really the best way to go (in hindsight), but it was always a great way to spend a saturday and I would have my own little listening party at the end, buying a few beers and listening to what I had done that day as a reward. I hear that stuff now and it's hard to listen to, overly noisy, monotone vocals, tape hiss, bad guitar sounds.......it was great back then....but now?....entertaining, but only in small doses.

Given my current circumstances, I sorted through everything I had, in the way of old cassette masters........I threw away 226 tapes........tossed them in the can. They are likely buried in the local landfill at this point. Why did I do that? vanity and legacy. We all have some sort of legacy, good or bad......mine is mostly music. I tossed 226 tapes, for a total of 683 recordings.......all trash. I sat down and really listened, asking myself " was I ever planning to let anyone hear this"?.......if the answer was no.......out it went.....gone. I have about an eighth of that left, recordings just passable enough to keep. I don't recommend this for most people, but there was a lot of alcohol in those old recordings, not exactly conducive to great listening.

I have a friend who routinely bemoans the fact he has no musical legacy, though he has been part of the musical scene for years. The hard truth is, he didn't put in the work. He spent years watching T.V. instead of rehearsing, online instead of writing or practicing an instrument, watching sports instead of recording. Now, 30 years on, he cannot figure out why he has nothing to show.......and though I offer him the truth.....he won't hear it. I write this today, in the hopes that someone will realize that a catalog, a legacy, a song book ect.........is success.

I am a success.

I am not rich from a number 1 song, never toured any bigger than regionally, very very few recognize me when I'm out and about.....but........I just tossed 683 recordings!! Two thirds of which were actual songs or song ideas.....683!!....and I am left with plenty more. After tossing all that musical history, I also realized.......how freeing it was to be able to make that decision, not some asshat at a record label or publisher. I had a conversation with a well known song writer friend of mine about the dump truck load of demos I had held on to for all these years, planning to get into an actual studio and record them proper, or go back and fix mistakes ect...........they promptly convinced me to get over it and let the flood gates open, because at THIS point....there is no time to go back.

Would you say that was successful? If you originally set out to write songs? I would. I think of all the people here who have passed on since my signing up, they left music behind I would bet.....and it's likely that someone may be listening to it as I type this. They are being affected by someone's legacy, good or bad, a mark was left in the music world.......in the listeners world. If the current music business and younger fans have passed you by, who.....cares? I mean really.................who.................cares? We do this because we love doing it!!! If all that sounds like you, and you are still writing and recording songs, despite trends......then what drives you? I would guess the love of it.

I digress....

Six months ago, I was diagnosed with terminal cancer. At 60, I was surprisingly calm about the news. Don't misunderstand me here....like anyone else...I'd rather stick around and not die just yet, and am doing everything possible to extend my time here.....why? You guessed it, I have a ton of songs to write!! Believe it or not, that was the second thought that went through my head at hearing the diagnosis, what was the first?......awww [naughty word removed].

I have always been aware of MY own definition of success, but having death staring you in the face and being robbed of a decade or more of future, it was cemented in a single moment. What am I leaving behind? no big estate for family to fight over, no world charity built from the ground up, no trophies, no authored books (yet)....ect. All I have is a ton of songs, songs I know will be listened to after I am gone, songs that will affect people as they did when I lived.....my legacy. Let me also say that legacy and what you leave behind for the world doesn't have to be tangible, it can be love and the way you treated people, it can be art, it can be something you taught people......and some of those things should be first and most important.

I took my friends advice and am putting together all my works for posting on line, volumes at a time, because if I don't...someone else will after I'm gone. I don't want to roll over in my grave thinking " ohhh noo, they posted THAT one.....ugh". I wrote this tonight for a couple of reasons, yet I have begun to ramble, with no editor looking over my shoulder. First reason being, stop being your own worst critic!!! You WROTE A SONG!!....no matter how good or bad anyone else says it is.....YOU wrote it!! You accomplished something less people are able to do than you might think. That makes you a song writer, if a song writer is what you wanted to be.....guess what.....you are a success. Secondly, and most important.... I leave you with this......


One can chase money, fame, toys, material possessions and a host of other earthly things, but the single most important thing one has is TIME!! Don't squander it!!

What have we learned?

1: Love what you do, others opinions be damned.

2: stop being your own worst critic.

3: Time is the most valuable thing you have, do NOT waste it.

That's about it from here, be safe out there people!

If interested, keep on eye on this space: https://maccharles.bandcamp.com/ .........the whole catalog is being posted over time.

'Time' is the ever-elapsing moment of 'now'.
When you read 'now' just 'now', that moment elapsed, replaced by another 'now'.
'Now' is the only 'time' there is. Time isn't stored somewhere to revisit. So you have to live in the 'now' moment. That's the only 'place' 'where'...when...you can act on the world around you.
I just told a new member of John Lennon's lament about throwing away a lot of stuff he wrote as a young boy and man.
"Who was I to judge?" he asked.
Song-writers make judgment calls throughout the process, the elusive question of 'Enough', 'Not Enough', 'Too Much'.
How much Introductory Movement is Enough? In Synchronization Licensing I read somewhere that seven seconds is 'Enough', because the whole composition may only be fifteen seconds, thirty.
How much Lyrical Exposition, setting the scene, putting the 'properties' on the stage where the Singer-Character will act the story out?
How much Lyrical Exposition is 'Enough' before it is 'time' to get to the point, the gist of the song, THE Hook, the title line?
How should the melody go, up or down in pitch, sustained notes or short notes?
Judgment calls, the writer's privilege and responsibility...'response ability'. Only the song-writer can make those decisions.
You have much at your disposal to keep doing what is possibly one of the main things you came here to do. Keep doing it.
I can't think of a better way to 'invest' your time.

Sorry to hear about the cancer, billions of dollars spent fighting it and still no cure, makes one wonder if they want to find a cure, put a lot of people out of work. Facing death is not easy but knowing death is not final takes the sting out of it, there is life beyond death for the believer and non believer, the difference is where you will spend it.

One in three American men can expect cancer in his lifetime. The same statistic is emerging in the United Kingdom.
One in two American women can expect cancer in her lifetime. The same statistic is emerging in the UK.
In the late 1980's, early 1990's, I was researching anything good for people, anything bad for people, anything good for companies, anything bad for companies.
I found the datum that one in ten American women could expect breast cancer in her lifetime.
A couple years passed and the statistic was one in nine.
A couple years passed and the statistic was one in eight.
Googling, "How many out of ten American women can expect breast cancer in her lifetime", yesterday, February 17, 2023, I read that one in two was the current data.
Our environment, containing 'causes' of the 'effect' of cancer, has apparently increased in toxicity. The air you breathe, the water you drink, the substances sold to you in your Menu of food, the dirt you walk on, may contain those 'causes' of the cancer 'effect'.

Wow, so sorry to hear that Mac, but to add to what Everette said, knowing CANCER is not final and not the death sentence it used to be, can be a comfort and a motivator. It can also help you appreciate the time you have, which we take for granted and do nothing with most of the time. And you're right, we all complain about success in music, but most of us wrote a song, MAYBE record it, and then expect the world to change. It takes hard work and years of honing your craft. and not taking no for an answer, and starving and struggling to MAYBE smell commercial success. Most of us are not willing to do it, others are willing to sleep on a train track in order to.

I hope you find comfort and peace, and I hope you live more now that you ever have. Don't forget we are all terminal, we are all finite, tomorow is guaranteed to no one. Sometimes it's a blessing having the knowledge ahead of time, so you can use the time wisely.

Also dont forget, Cancer is not the death sentence it used to be, there's lots that can be done, and there are clinical trials constantly going on. There are treatments in other countries, that are not allowed here that you could explore.

Nutrition and exercise can extend and sustain you. And don't look at statistics, that's all they are. some people die at 1 years old. others at 101, but average life expectancy is like 80 years maybe, It's just numbers and u don't have to be one.

It's great that you have music, many people don't. You can do this!

Leave you with the words of The Boss "it's not the time in your life, it's the life in your time"

Sorry to hear that Mac, keep doing what you love it's not a waste of time.

Mac
First, sir, you are in my thoughts and prayers. I pray for your full recovery and that you will have peace in your heart wherever your journey takes you. And I also pray for the hundreds and thousands of those working tirelessly to find a cure for cancer. The advances made in their research is staggering and people are being cured every day of the disease. The cocktails they are developing today, aimed at specific types of the disease are clear indications they are on the right path. But then I think you already know this. Contrary to the belief of some there is no other reason for not finding a cure other than it is a tough disease to conquer, but they will.
Be strong, Mac, live every day to the fullest, follow your heart and you’ll be just fine.

I don’t know you,Mac, other than a little interaction here at JPF, but if there is anything I can do for you just contact me through PM

Steve

A bit of nostalgia is perfectly natural, but don't waste too much time regretting or trying to make up for the past...

You've learned a lot in 60yrs! Your catalog is proof. I recommend you allow your past to inspire you. Write about right now

Hey Mac,

Sorry to hear of your present health issues. No one can say or do anything about those and it sounds like you are drawing some really good conclusions about dealing with it. Your takeaways are right on target. And are very personal to me.

I have asked myself that question, "What's the point of even doing this?" for decades now. Every few days, I ask the same thing. Why spend time, money, effort on things that will probably never be heard or really matter in the oveall scheme of things. I'm a bit ahead of you, having turned 65 last year, and going through the "Throw it all away" stuff in 2009. Although, mine were more like 2800 fully recorded songs, and probably another 1500 ideas, work tapes, notebooks, and "can't miss ideas" that were probably more "good ideas at the time" than anything else.
But I keep doing it, have no idea why, until something happens to me like happened two nights ago.

I seem to be performing, writing and recording more than ever and everything I write comes out of real life. A friend of mine, found a news article that made a lot of rounds on television and the Internet recently. The story is of a woman, whose father died when she was 19. SHe was devistated, and a few weeks after he passed, she texted a message to her father's number. It was somewhat comforting, so over the next four years, she did it several times. Posting pictures of friends. graduation, getting married, and other things, sort of like a diary, and kept that going.

One night, her phone, with her Dad's name lit up and really gave her a start. With it came a message that said (paraphrasing) "I'n not your father, but I've had this number for several years. And I've been reading along and keeping up with your messages over the years. I never wanted to answer or alarm you, but have kept touch with you through that. In addition, my daughter was about your same age, and was killed in a car accident about the time your Father died. So getting your messages somehow kept me closer to her."

My friend found that, told me about it and we wrote a song called "I KNOW THAT YOU'RE STILL HERE" which I have begun to perform regularly and just did the final vocal in the studio on it this week. On Wed. I performed it here in town and a woman came up after my performance, telling me how much she appreciated the song and that her daughter had just died, so she was touched by it all. Was a very moving experience.

TOUCHING LIVES. That's why we write songs. Because we have the abilities (and responsiblities) to make things a little better than they were before and we might help someone laugh, love, or get through hard times. It's something I take very seriously, though I'm not always serious in my music. I never know who is out there, never know where these things go or what they do. But if I can help someone in someway but whatever I do, I've done what I'm supposed to.

That's why I write songs. I hope you get through your tough times and carry with the class you always seem to. You do the same things. Touch lives.

That's why we do it. That's the point.
MAB

Having to watch as death steadily comes for you must be tremendously difficult to endure. It sounds like you are doing it valiantly. Given the clarity from that frame of reference, your advice concerning how to view life is greatly appreciated. Consider yourself fortunate to have had an interest you enjoyed so much that one of your biggest regrets is not having more time to do it. Not everybody has something that they feel that way about.

I live 1 mile from MD Andersen in Houston. If you ever go there for evaluation or treatment, let me know and I will help any way that I can.

I have a college buddy and friend of 50 years coming in tomorrow night to stay with me in order to have tests done on Monday.

With respect,
Martin

Wishing you a full recovery from cancer Mac. On a positive note, most cancers have a 75 to 97% survival rate today with treatment.

I wouldn’t be too quick to blame the pharmaceutical companies for not finding a cure. Take the common cold, there are 160+ rhinovirus viruses that can cause a cold. There is 100+ diseases characterized by abnormal cell growth (Cancer). And they all call for different treatments and/or cures.

On the songwriting/ composing subject, I’m torn between the love of the art and success. If it weren’t for the success I’ve had, I would probably only be composing serious music for the love of the art. Move in success… Yes, it’s changed my outlook. Often, I’ll compose tracks, I would never write for myself. And it has sent me in many interesting directions that has made me a better composer. I’ve accumulated 5,000+ tracks. Well over half I would never have composed if it weren’t for success. So, success can be a double-edged sword. Also, I compose every day. I’m sure if I were composing only for myself, it would be consuming much less of my time.

Attn! From a publisher… Hey John, we need a spaghetti western track for a major ad. I’m on it with lightning passion. Without the prompt from a publisher, I’d never have any desire to compose a spaghetti western track – puke. So yes, it’s honorable to compose for the love of the art. But it’s not always that simple.

No need to be ashamed by deleting music from your past. We all write crap – even Beethoven wrote his share of crap.

Best, John

Mac,

You've always been a class act, and I'm so bummed hearing of your health issues. Its interesting how we view our online music friends......we usually have a pic which gives us a visual, then many times a voice to personalize that image even more. Then we can see often into the artist's canvas of music, lyrically & musically to also give us a peak of the emotional side, humorous side, and serious side. Its surely a different relationship than what is probably archaic by now--"pen pals," but in some ways that could also be the case especially if those venture often into PM. You are one of the ones that I've always sincerely enjoyed music correspondence for sure, as your personality shines through your words and music. I'll never see most of my online music friends who are all over this world, but they are indeed friends!

Like you, I've been battling the big "C" for about two years and thus far after having surgery a couple years back, I've been in the clear with no cancer recurrence at least thus far...........Don't give up my friend, please research your alternatives. I lost a father at age 44 to the stupid disease, and I've fought it hard with my strong will and obviously have been more fortunate than my father's antiquated treatments in 1973. I will definitely include you in my prayers for recovery!

Ah yes.....Mac, I've got old songs on CD's labeled in my safe.....(not because I'm worried about theft, a fire safe). Not as many songs as you as I've been a guy with a lot of interests/hobbies/sports and music has been mostly an evening hobbie. I need to throw away some too--three albums to leave for my family extension is enough. I've always been a person who enjoys the journey as much or more than the destination whether it be biz, work, or play. Thank-you for your sharing of yourself Mac, don't give up hope and should that final curtain fall, remember "so many" never get to see their own gray hair........Godspeed.

steady-eddie

Hiya Gary!!

Thanks for your thoughts, for me it was just a matter of asking myself "what if it wasn't cancer? And I had no time...and just died suddenly?" What would be floating around in my personal effects? It's kind of like clearing the search history on a computer LOL.....

I just didn't want all those crappy 4 track recordings left in my wake.

Everett, I am a bit of a "half" believer, in that I would hope and do feel, there is something more, due to past experiences. Thank you for the thoughts sir.

FD,

This particular type of cancer has a pretty dismal survival rate of 4 percent, especially at stage 4. Though I won't sink into giving up completely, I'm still a realist and accept that fact........but.......Since day one, I have rolled forward with the attitude that if I can stick around longer than the general prognosis.....I'll do whatever I have to in order to make that happen.

And the fact that we are all terminal made me laugh because it's true, so the laughter was a good thing, not maniacal in any way 🙃

You're right in that I have music to lean on and leave behind and that a lot do not.....but for those that do, for those who may be down about the fact they have never made a cent or never had a song in any chart anywhere, I just reiterate that they still set out to write a song from nothing, and THAT is success.

Thanks for the thoughts man, and speaking catalogs and the boss? Holy moley, never been a huge fan but that guy certainly has a few under his belt.

Chester, that is exactly what I was trying to get across in my long winded way. It has never been a waste of time for me, so I try to get that point to those who may be thinking it is, due to lack of the popular definition of success.

So I do what I do, keep writing......for me! And who ever else is interested.

Thank you for weighing in.

Hiya Steve!!

Thank you for that! Also for your thoughts toward the medical community, they are an easily forgotten side of the equation for whatever reason, taken for granted.

I often wonder where I would be right now if it wasn't for them and these last six months of treatment, probably in a hospice bed, in severe pain and on my way out......but likely because of treatment, I'm up and operating!!

Thank you for the offer, but the best thing people can do for me and others like me? Positive thought.😇 if enough positive thought gets out there, a miracle just might manifest.

Japov,

Oh there is no regret really, just cleaning house so someone else doesn't have to. I have been busier musically in the last 4 months than I have been in the past year.....no sign of slowing yet, just the opposite.

Marc!!

You sir, are a prime example of what I espouse!

Your name and work is all over projects, your work has inspired people and has been a cornerstone for many I would suspect, and your name probably gets dropped a lot. You play, write, mentor, contribute where needed (jpf is a good example), educate dreamers who may be green when it comes to the realities facing them....and just generally are an example of success.

I doubt your image is on any billboards, the main perceived credit of any charting songs probably go to some other artist, but there is never a hint of sulking or real sour grapes, because your definition of success is exactly what you are doing (at least it would seem).

Saying you never know where your work goes or who it touches is spot on!

THAT is what I speak of.

Thank you.

Hiya Martin!!

I wish it were not so, but yes...yes...my being human I sometimes fall prey to thoughts of "no one is coming to rescue you"...." This isn't the flu, you won't get over it and feel better in a few weeks"

But what are the options really? Curl up in the fetal position and cry my way out? LOL......no.

I get up and get to work on the next thing, move forward and hope.

Thank you for your offer, but as I tell everyone, the best help one could offer is positive thoughts......maybe enough of those by enough people, we might manifest some good news!!

Thank you sir.

John!!

You are yet another example of the kind of success I speak of!

I have even asked your advice on a few things over the years, and you were very realistic and honest about the machine and what to expect. I have always admired your work as well as your work ETHIC!

The latter being a prime example for anyone to follow. Spaghetti western not your thing? Publisher asks for at least an attempt? Spaghetti it is!

I wasn't ashamed of tossing all those cassettes, I was actually amazed I had that much to sort through, cherry picking out of vanity of legacy. If anyone could hear what I a tually kept, they might think...."he kept THAT"? But my ears are my ears.😇

Thank you for the holla!!

Eddie!!!

Thanks for the kind words on your experience of me, if you only knew.....LOL

My outlook on current circumstances are as alway "it is what it is".....because options are ver limited and one must keep rolling regardless. I mean, medical bills piling up that I can't pay, insurance ending at the end of march, pain, feeling sick all the time? That can grind one down fast, but I just do whatever needs doing and hope for the best?, given the alternative is to lay down and die....and I'm not ready to do that yet.

Again, you are yet another fine example if the meaning of success to me. Always new songs, or reworked numbers offered up to the wolves, without hesitation or griping about the biz any more than is normal, you are in fact "steady"!

You could, and should start a thread in what drives you to keep going, in a world that sometimes does not seem to care. I'd be interested to be sure.

In regards to your circumstance of two years, I say.....that is what we like to hear mister!! Here's to hoping you stay free if it from here!! Also, trust me, I research all the time and if I miss something.....plenty of people send links to articles and such.....to the point that I haven't gotten to a lot of them yet.

You saying you have always enjoyed the JOURNEY of song writing and other endeavors is yet again....exactly what I espouse here.

Thank you sir!!

Here's to future days!

Yeah, a good belly laugh every day helps, not kidding, i heard of people beating cancer by watching Marx Brothers and Three stooges all day long.

4 percent means that 4 out of 100, and 40 out of 1000, and 400 out 10,000, 4000 out of 100,000. Odds of getting a major cut as much worse than that, lol.

Yes, be a realist, but not a defeatist. Hope to hear more of your music, i think the last one that blew me away was "let in her light"

Bring em!

and oh yeah my offer to you is same as some others, if you ever go to Sloan Kettering in NJ, or even some of the top places in NY, id be around.

Thanks for your kind words, Mac. Actually, I did end up writing one - ha, ha.

Best, John

Mac,

My profile picture is a little older than yours. I rationalize not changing it cuz I feel more like the guy in my picture than my 65 year old mirror image: a content, 40 year old, shoegazey introvert.

Stage 4 sucks big time; I am so sorry...but 24 to 1, as "odds" go, is better odds than snake eyes aka "craps," and I've won on many a 25 to 1, betting horse races.

I love your 3 "what we have learned" thoughts...

As musicians, we've all (here at least) more or less been forced to confront "why do I make music when there's no money in it?" Most of us do it cuz we love it, and I personally wouldn't know what else to do with my time other than "make stuff" which usually involves music. Nigel Tufnel be damned; that last Spinal Tap scene is so funny, cuz we know he would've been a hilarious but awful "salesman."

I have problems with being my own worst enemy. This I will try to heed your advice.

Aah..the fleeting-ness of time. I don't quite get folks my age still waste so much time doing what is the equivalent of flipping through magazines. Haven't they heard of the Internet? But seriously, I try to understand, but I just don't.

I'm glad you get that fame is not success, and wish to God Nick Drake could've. I've thrown out most of my 4-track stuff, as well, and am consolidating my better music and video art onto external hard drives. Not having children never bothered me. Everyone on earth forgetting my music? That does...so my best friend, a musician, and my sister, will each get an external drive...this is somehow consoling to me.

Thanks for being so open and vulnerable here, sharing like you are. I certainly could not imagine what it feels like, going through what you are, but you're generous enough to share, and that's who you've always been.

I'm not sure if I could. I think I'd move to the northern most part of Alaska, and one day start walking as far north as I could until I just dropped, with the absurd pipe dream of maybe getting thawed out and brought back to life in the year 2525, with Zager and Evans there to serenade me. I imagine my odds on my "poor man's cryogenics" being successful would be far worse than throwing craps.

And again, you...just 24 to 1.

I'm betting on you.

Mike

Mac thank you for your example in dealing with what life dealt you and I salute your thoughts of others in this before yours.

I expect you have things figured out by what I have read and wish you the best results medicine will allow, even if that is to help ease you out of this life.

If so I know you leave it satisfied with how you lived it and unafraid.

In the meantime best wishes and prayers for good days and better days among days of treatments and appointments.
I hope you have access to the best specialists in your cancer and the latest treatments.

And I trust you will continue to draw strength from your family and friends and your music

I've certainly had the songwriter thoughts about why do I do this countless times. It's like an addiction. Because it is not easy. To do it well. But I've been on another turbo songwriting spree for a few weeks now and it's been mind-blowing. I love the songs I have written and some of them brought me to tears several times during the writing. Powerful stuff, songwriting is.

I've got tons of recordings, too. Including on my current cellphone! I record rough ideas and takes often. But I have to, else I forget a lot of it because I keep writing new stuff.

I salute you, Mac, and wish you great luck with beating your illness.

Yeah, I heard about laughter curing disease or sending it into remission years ago, the mind is a powerful thing.

I appreciate the offer, but don't foresee any travel in my near future. 🙃

Mikel,

I still think when the time comes that I am staring a hospice bed down as my end time here, that I will find a way to the mountains before I am stuck with that as my only option.

The zager and evans reference made me laugh, as it does now everytime I hear those lyrics........but back when I was a kid, that song was pretty heavy.

Thanks for thoughts.

John,

Thank you for that, I am dead set on rolling forward until I can't any longer.

Duke,

See? You are doing exactly what I speak of here, so keep on....no matter what direction the rest of the world says you must go.