Originally Posted by Letha Allen
Hi Rblight,

lol, or up on Craft Creek, or at the head of Puncheon.....

Hope you dont mind a few more ideas, don't mind me, I just make alot of suggestions when I like something, ok? Your choice to use or ignore. ( I am sure the phrasing on some might be just a little off)


Sweet Kentucky Rose

I remember the tears in her eyes
When she said she'd always wait there for me
A southern boy longin for bright city lights
I had dreams to chase and places to see
I took my freedom and traveled the world
I've been everywhere, any one man could be
Searched every town from Detroit to La
But in my heart I found right where I should be

and I hope that she's still waiting there for me....

My sweet Kentucky Rose
Waiting for me;
I'm coming home
Those big old city lights
Don't even compare,
to what's waiting there

My Sweet Kentucky rose


I crossed the mountains just searchin the world
never thought how much I had to lose
The Devil tempted don't fall for one girl
boy you know, this ain't the life for you
But the big city lights made me dream of the stars
and the warm nights when I held her close
Saw eyes that smiled, when I tuned in old George
and her memory almost tore me apart....

and I'm prayin it's still me that holds her heart....


My sweet Kentucky Rose
Waiting for me;
I'm coming home
Those big old city lights
Don't even compare,
to what I have there

My Sweet Kentucky rose

My sweet Kentucky Rose
Wait there for me;
I'm coming home
Those big old city lights
Don't even compare,
to what I have there

My sweet Kentucky Rose
Waiting for me;
I'm comin' home
My sweet Kentucky Rose
I'm comin' home;
Wait there for me
My sweet Kentucky Rose
I'm comin' home;
I'm comin'home


I really listened to your song (if it was on soundclick it might have been number 1 tomorrow lol) because I like the sound of it and felt the urge to work it. I know you may not like the way I took it, but I offer my vision of it for you to consider.

A couple things:
I live in Michigan, my roots are Ky. I thought Detroit to LA, because the story here is that we Ky people migrated to Michigan years ago to get jobs lol. Also, I think a KY boy might be more likely to come to MI than LA maybe.

The Pearl line:
It is a great line, but I feel like maybe it belongs in a different song. I think the analogy would fit better in a song about a different state, maybe where there are oceans instead of creeks....just my thoughts but it is a great line

The Ending:

Some absolutely fabulous ad libs, (and I mean fabulous) but I do think it is a little long and the same lines over and over seem a little redundant. Would you consider fading out about half way?

Your remake:

I liked your first one better. I loved reading about Pikeville and the stil and the bluegrass, and red hair, which all made me smile. And they did give a whole lot more visual, but to me, it took away that emotional impact your song is going to have..that is hard to get and I really don't think you need that much visual..that is also just my opinion.

Anyway, whether you like it or not, I enjoyed creating on it and thank you for allowing me to offer it for your consideration.

Letha



Hi Letha,

Thanks for taking an interest. You have some really cool ideas there and I agree with you about the first version. I kind of liked it myself, but unfortunately for me, nobody else seems to think it works as a modern country lyric. My feeling is that the first version would be fine for a general pop song, but not for a modern country song, which, as someone suggested earlier, has to come right out of the cookie cutter. Stories are in, so that is apparently what they want.

I really like the line you have at the end of the first verse.

Regarding the second verse, it does better progress the story. My second verse is more of a trip through the past and doesn't really progress the story. However, it does provide detailed info about Rose, which is something that 75% of the people who have critiqued my lyrics suggested I do.

Unfortunately, the song is already too long so a full third verse is out of the question.

BTW, I am originally from MI (St. Clair Shores) and I went to Western Kentucky University for two years. I got my PhD at the University of Texas at Austin and now reside in Houston.

Last edited by rblight; 02/29/08 08:23 PM.
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