Heh, first post.

It's a great idea for a song. I really like all the emotions that can be conveyed by someone in this position. You've captured most of it. The problem for me is the first verse, I hope you don't take offense but it's kind of useless. It's a bunch of words to tell us what can be derived from one line. I would like to see more story, tell me more about how he feels and tell me more about the situation. I don't know if it will help but Walt Aldridge wrote a song called "Holding Her and Loving You", Earl Thomas Conley originally sang it but Clay Walker remade it later, and it's the same story you're portraying here.

What I want to see(and you've covered some of this):
What did he do?
Does he feel guilty or Sad or which is greater?
Why can't he go to her?
How is he coping?
What's he going to do?

I hope the newb helped some grin.