Howdy Letha,

As if I'm ever going to tell you to stop looking at my lyrics and coming up with more good ideas!! laugh

So thank you for going that extra mile here and really digging deep. Alas, I don't know the Dixie Chick song you mention, but I'm certainly grateful for the comparison! smile

As for your suggestions, there are definitely a couple that pique my interest. Most specifically, changing the line in the third verse from FIRST afternoon to LAST afternoon:

Not fully awake
He reaches to take
What I gave you that first afternoon (last afternoon?)

There had been some discussion of that earlier. I had felt "first" was a good choice, as it set up a contrast between what her husband is taking so casually, while it seemingly meant so much more with her lover. On the other hand, using LAST might be another metaphoric nail in the coffin of the relationship. I'm going to have to think on that one.

Some of the other ideas you bring up have been incorporated in some fashion already (I haven't posted the most up-to-the-minute version.....figured I'd post it with the musicated version)...and others still I have to mull over. I think the "TRY" to call when he is asleep is another sug worthy of serious consideration.

As you know Letha, I respect your opinion tremendously. And I'm so glad you feel comfortable letting yourself "get carried away" on my lyrics. I consider that a real compliment.

Thanks so much for thoughtful feedback....and I hope you'll be able to hear the final version very soon.

Night!!
Beth

http://www.soundclick.com/bands/page_music.cfm?bandID=949237

http://www.myspace.com/goldencatfish

"Fill what's empty, empty what's full, and scratch where it itches."