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Let It Rain
by John Lawrence Schick - 12/30/25 08:04 PM
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Joined: Dec 2000
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I mentioned to Kay-Lynn that I had a "moral" lyric as well that I'd taken from a story I had read....like the beached starfish... Here it is Kay-Lynn...not pretending it is finished so have at her lyricists and SUNO drivers
Reap What You Sow
A traveller put his burden down on my freshly tilled soil He said I come from yonder hamlet and I wonder if you know What might things be like in the village down the road First tell me I asked What's it like where you came from
He said I'm happy to be leaving, everybody was so cold I never felt a part of things, that feeling’s gotten old They weren't kind to strangers, I felt so all alone Now tell me what it's like In the village in the valley
I said I think you'll find the same You'll see what you see Nothing I can tell you Will let you see it any differently He turned around slowly And as I watched him go I thought you get what you give You reap what you sow
A traveller hailed and smiled at me as he came up the track Said I come from yonder hamlet and I wonder may I ask What might things be like in the village down that path First tell me I asked What's it like where you came from
He said Everyone was wonderful, the place was full of life The children laughed and joked with me, and everything felt right I have memories to spare, they were generous and kind Please tell me what's it like In the village in the valley
I said I think you'll find the same You'll see what you see Nothing I can tell you Will let you see it any differently He turned around smiling And as I watched him go I thought you get what you give You reap what you sow
I turned back to my soil My land is my life And thought about how everything Is in your frame of mind
And if you ask I will tell you You see what you see There’s nothing I can tell you Will let you see it any differently So turn up your smile Wherever you go Because you get what you give You reap what you sow
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Is this like "you see, what you want to see"? pretty clever and true.
not sure about calling it a hamlet though.... hahah
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Last edited by bennash; 12/27/25 11:45 AM.
We’re all built from the same dust and dreams, Different roads, but the same means.
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Now this ended up nicely Elvis...thank you
Any suggestions for the lyric?
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Hey John, so far I've only looked at verse 1 and 2. I don't like that "Hamlet" reference. I can't really say why. Your lines look very outdated, language-wise. For a modern country or pop song, I suggest you use more up-to-date wording.
Verse 1 I was working that red dirt, late afternoon sun When a stranger stopped walking, said his journey’d just begun Dropped his pack by the fence post, wiped the dust from his shoes Said, “I’m heading for the valley, but first tell me the truth What’s it like where you’re from?â€
Verse 2 He said, “I’m glad to be leaving, folks were colder than stone Never felt like I belonged there, always felt alone They don’t care for outsiders, hearts closed, doors shut tight So tell me, friend, what I’ll find In that town just outta sightâ€
What do you think?
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its a not a modern country song or pop , its folk , thats why the AI suggested that promt. AI saw them lyrics and wrote this for it
Write a heartfelt folk / Americana song told as a parable, The narrator is a farmer working freshly tilled soil when two travelers pass through at different times, Each traveler asks what the next village will be like; one speaks bitterly about where he came from, the other speaks with gratitude and joy, The farmer gives the same answer to both, revealing that people experience the world based on their own outlook, Themes: perspective, kindness, mindset, personal responsibility, “you get what you give, †“you reap what you sow, †Tone is warm, wise, and calm—not preachy, Simple acoustic instrumentation (finger-picked guitar, light fiddle or pedal steel), Clear storytelling verses, reflective chorus, memorable moral hook, Style: traditional folk / Americana, timeless, conversational, emotionally grounded, No modern slang, no named artists.
I hate to break to you, AI is smarter than humans. One look at them lyrics it knew exactly what the promt should be in 5 seconds
Last edited by bennash; 12/27/25 04:04 PM.
We’re all built from the same dust and dreams, Different roads, but the same means.
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Ben, ok, ok! John asked for lyric suggestions. I gave him some.
Last edited by Rob B.; 12/27/25 04:20 PM.
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Dosen't look dated to me for a folk song . Ai might not be smarter but quicker , since it's trained by humans . A human might take 2 hours on the promt , AI 5 seconds. All the data AI uses is from humans . When AI starts solving problems that humans can't solve, thats when this world will really change
Last edited by bennash; 12/27/25 04:22 PM.
We’re all built from the same dust and dreams, Different roads, but the same means.
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Ben, do you say "I come from yonder"?
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Ben, do you say "I come from yonder"? No I'm not saying that . AI thinks it's a folk song . You could ask AI if lines looked dated , Answer 5 seconds, Rewrite ask again. its tedious and time consuming , but it works , Its knows if lines are dated say to 2026 folk songs
Last edited by bennash; 12/27/25 04:27 PM.
We’re all built from the same dust and dreams, Different roads, but the same means.
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Great suggestions Rob I definitely worked on that arcane angle as I remember....does the chorus largely work 4 you?
I dug this out of those I tried to make work but never quite did and simply left behind. Like what Elvis did but this kind of let's make this story\lyric shine is what I was hoping for And totally funny note...your discussions have been going on as I have been putting this together. You are both right...but was looking for first a lyric upgrade then a SUNO version
how's this for version 2.01
was working my red dirt, late afternoon sun stranger stopped walking, said his jouney'd been long dropped his pack by the fence post, took a pull from his flask then squinting at me he asked What's it like around here where you're from?
He frowned I'm glad to have left, folks were colder than stone Never felt I belonged I wasn't seen by a soul They don’t care for outsiders, hearts and doors were closed tight So tell me please what I’ll find Down the road in the place where you're from?
I said I think you'll find the same You'll see what you see Nothing I can tell you Will let you see it any differently He turned around slowly And as I watched him go I thought you get what you give You reap what you sow
was sitting in the shade, eating my lunch stranger stopped walking smiled the sun's pretty strong dropped his pack by the fence post, took a swig from his flask offered me some then he asked What's it like around here where you're from?
He smiled been most everywhere, places all full of life Children laugh where I've been everything's mostlyt right I have memories to spare, they were generous and kind So tell me please what I’ll find Down the road in the place where you're from?
chorus
travelling's for some My land is my life I waved him away thinking everything Is in your frame of mind
chorus
some clever outro
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Short answer: no, nothing here screams “dated.†Longer, songwriter-nerd answer below—because this is good stuff and worth tuning, not time-stamping. What doesn’t feel dated (most of it) Traveler / stranger parable – timeless. That device goes back to folk songs, scripture, and country storytelling. Still works. Fence post / flask / red dirt / late afternoon sun – classic rural imagery, but not cliché in the overused sense. It’s grounded, not retro. Core message (“you see what you see / reap what you sowâ€) – evergreen. That’s philosophy, not fashion. Conversational questions – “What’s it like around here where you’re from?†feels natural and human, not era-locked. This reads folk-country, not throwback cosplay. That’s the line you want to walk—and you’re on the right side of it. Spots that could feel slightly old-fashioned (but are fixable, optional) None are deal-breakers—just areas you might modernize if you want to. 1. “took a swig from his flask†Not dated, but very traditional folk imagery Totally fine if you want that vibe If you wanted a subtler update, you could imply instead of name it Optional tweak ideas: “took a pull, wiped his mouth†“lifted something brown to his lips†“took a swallow, looked me over†(Again: not necessary—just flavor options.) 2. “folks were colder than stone†Solid line, just very familiar phrasing Not dated as much as well-worn Possible fresher angles (pick none or one): “folks were colder than winter shade†“folks had ice where kindness should’ve been†“folks kept warmth locked up tight†3. “Children laugh where I’ve been†Emotionally right, but reads slightly storybook A touch abstract compared to your concrete images elsewhere Optional grounding: “kids ran wild where I’ve been†“kids laughed loud where I’ve been†“kids played in the streets where I’ve been†What actually feels strongly modern Plainspoken structure – no flowery overreach Balanced perspective – neither stranger is “right†Self-awareness in the chorus – “You’ll see what you see†lands like wisdom, not moralizing Ending thought: everything / Is in your frame of mind That’s a contemporary takeaway, even if the setting is old-soul. One small technical note (not about age) Purely craft, not era: Watch repetition of “stranger stopped walking†and “dropped his pack by the fence post†It works narratively, but you might: Keep it identical (to underline the parable), or Slightly vary the second time so it feels intentional, not copied Example: First: dropped his pack by the fence post Second: set his pack down in the shade Bottom line This song feels: Timeless Folk-country Thoughtful, not nostalgic for nostalgia’s sake If anything, it leans wisdom-song, not dated song. If you want, next we can:
Sharpen the chorus hook so it hits harder live Tighten syllable flow for melody Or do a radio vs. folk cut (same lyrics, different emphasis) You’re sitting on a strong parable here.
Thats what AI thinks on your new lyrics, So it's up to you guys , to use AI suggestions. , its tedious rewriting and following AI instructions , but it works.
Its a very smart and fast co-writer
Last edited by bennash; 12/27/25 04:57 PM.
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LOL. Yup you are perfectly right Elvis and I am thankful you posted a SUNO version..I did ask for that
But our stated aim is to upgrade to a more modern type lyric without the arcane and back when written intended angle, then first let's decide on and contribute to the lyric.
This post was inspired by Kay-lynn's boy on the beach story with a moral where we talked about this one I'd written that was a story with a moral and she asked me to put it up.
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AS an example how to write sparse but description words for verses... I'm sure you all remember this one right? Do you see that you don't need long lines to get to paint the story?
… Johnny's daddy was takin' him fishin' When he was eight years old A little girl came through the front gate Holdin' a fishin' pole
His dad looked down and smiled Said, "We can't leave her behind Son, I know you don't want her to go But someday you'll change your mind"
… And Johnny said … Take Jimmy Johnson, take Tommy Thompson Take my best friend, Bo Take anybody that you want as Long as she don't go Take any boy in the world Daddy, please, don't take the girl
… Same old boy, same sweet girl Ten years down the road He held her tight and kissed her lips in Front of the picture show
Stranger came and pulled a gun Grabbed her by the arm Said, "If you do what I tell you to, there Won't be any harm"
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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LOL an AI critique to boot Elvis.
In terms of creating music, i want it to come from within myself and expressed by myself through my guitar and voice.
It is all about the process.
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Was telling someone about the Vaughan Tooth Comb Kay Lynn...I think you remember Shayne Vaughan
Yeah, sparse writing for sure...but no I do not remember where that is from
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It's Please Don't Take the Girl , Tim McGraw.............................!
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Ah....so I know this might sound heretical but that genre was not really "my home" ...so Tim McGraw I knew of more than I heard from Definitely strange as the second song I ever wanted to sing over and over was Hurtin Hank's Your Cheating Heart. First was De Drie Musketieren. Man could Hank evoke that emotion in a song
Now...how can we make this lyric really shine? I already used a bit of Elvis AI and changed swig to pull....did not like swig so am glad for that one
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LOL an AI critique to boot Elvis.
In terms of creating music, i want it to come from within myself and expressed by myself through my guitar and voice.
It is all about the process. Yup it acts like a co-writer John , New technology in writing. it a machine , it'll keep asking you , you wanna go this way or that way , After awhile you shut it off , its to much for humans
Last edited by bennash; 12/27/25 06:44 PM.
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While I understand the moral of the story "reap what you sow" is a biblical phrase, so you might want to write something that says that WITHOUT saying it.
That's sort of the secret sauce. When Rob took my phrase "when you row another person across the river, you get there yourself. We didn't actually say that in the song...........he buildt a story around the "message". And boy, wait til you hear the track we made yesterday!!!.....
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Food for thought and a challenge...
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John, I'm totally fine with what Ben/Elvis did with your lyric. He surely picked the right genre and the song sounds great. Well-done Ben.
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John, your first version of “Reap What You Sow†is lyrically strong, thoughtful, and narrative-driven, which is great for storytelling. For a commercially viable country-pop song, though, there are a few key adjustments I’d suggest, focusing on structure, hooks, melody potential, and audience appeal.
In my opinion, you need to condense the narrative. Verses 1–4 are long, with multiple lines per traveler, which works well for folk or Americana, but country-pop audiences prefer shorter, punchier storytelling. I’d advise reducing each traveler’s story to 3-4 lines max and focusing on one or two striking images per traveler. This keeps the song moving and maintains listener attention in a radio-friendly 3-4 minute format.
Example: Original: He said, “I’m happy to be leaving, everybody was so cold I never felt a part of things, that feeling’s gotten old They weren’t kind to strangers, I felt so alone
Optimized: He said, “I’m glad to be leaving, folks were colder than stone Never felt like I fit in, never felt at homeâ€
Your original song has multiple slightly different choruses. This is fine for folk, but repetition is king in country-pop. Listeners should be able to sing it after hearing it once or twice. Therefore, use one universal chorus with 7-8 lines max, and make the title line (“You reap what you sowâ€) land on the final line - memorable, chantable, and uplifting. Also, try to optimize phrasing and syllables for melody. Some lines are long and conversational; break them into short, rhythmic phrases. Use imagery and emotion that connect broadly whenever possible. Your song is reflective and philosophical, which is lovely, but country-pop thrives on relatable visuals: dirt roads, sunsets, kids laughing, small-town smiles.
I hope this helps.
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John, I gave it a shot: https://suno.com/s/hErmkA7aQiX4AtPYREAP WHAT YOU SOW[Instrumental Intro] [Verse] I was working that red dirt, late afternoon sun When a stranger stopped walking, said his journey’d just begun Dropped his pack by the fence post, said, “I just walked all day†“I’m headed for the valley, tell me friend, what’s it like that way?†[Pre-chorus] He said, “I’m glad to be leaving, folks were colder than stone Never felt like I fit in, never felt at home†[Chorus] You’ll see what you see Yeah, it’s all in your mind Ain’t a thing I can tell you That’ll change what you find So open your heart Let your true colors show Yeah, you get what you give You reap what you sow [Break] [Verse] Next day another traveler came, same dust on his shoes Easy grin, open hand, humming joyful tunes Said, “Is that town down there like mine, full of life? Kids laughing in the streets, hearts open wide†[Pre-chorus] Do they welcome a stranger like a long-lost friend Leave me fuller than when I rode in?†[Chorus] You’ll see what you see Yeah, it’s all in your mind Ain’t a thing I can tell you That’ll change what you find So open your heart Let your true colors show Yeah, you get what you give You reap what you sow [Bridge] I turned back to that good earth Let the quiet speak Funny how the world reflects What you believe [Interlude] [Final chorus] You’ll see what you see Yeah, it’s all in your mind Ain’t a thing I can tell you That’ll change what you find So open your heart Let your true colors show Yeah, you get what you give You reap what you sow [Outro] Every road, every heart you’ll ever know You get what you give You reap what you sow
Last edited by Rob B.; 12/28/25 08:23 AM.
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A Shot? To me this is a home run Rob .....Amazing. What a job you did with this...and answered Kay-lynn's challenge to barebone the lyric. To me totally commercial and ready for radio...hooky as all getout
Is it 100%SUNO? Can it be downloaded?
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Thank you John. I like it too. Yes, this is 100% Suno, except for the lyrics. They are 100% me, well and you because it was your idea, your challenge. If you send me your email via PM I can send it to you. Do you want the WAV or the MP3?
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I love the vibe of this song, very kewl..................! Just a little tiny question ( of course)... pre-chorus 1 is a statement , I assume it's the traveler talking, pre-chorus 2 is a question from the traveler.
Do you think they should both be questions?
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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