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Let It Rain
by John Lawrence Schick - 12/30/25 08:04 PM
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,908 Likes: 9
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One of those things that keeps sticking with me is why I can't write verse 2 of this damn song. I tried Suno but it won't do the melody right. Anyone want to at least get me on the right track of prompts to use to make it match my vocal? Oh, and yes, that's my humble little voice in the living room..haha https://suno.com/s/rpCAhhyac5n6UC00
Last edited by Kay-lynn Carew; 12/27/25 12:35 PM.
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Joined: Aug 2007
Posts: 6,747 Likes: 84
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IMO...
If all the good ones are taken
Why am I still here?
That is a great thought that sneaks up on the listener and slaps them on the back of the head before they could see it coming.
But all the sea going metaphors dont work for me. Too cliche. Too worn.
And the metaphor's meaning's intent in the chorus gets hazy.
My suggestion #1:
Keep the two good lines.
Toss the rest. Look for a different way to fill the song out.
Suggestion #2:
If you don't like Suggestion #1, then suggestion #2 is to ignore suggestion #1.
And if there's someone for everyone
I'm standing on the pier
Maybe she got lost along the way
On that ship that's coming in someday
[Chorus]
So I'm gonna swim for it
Leave the house, talk to friends, keep the light house lit
So when she comes, she'll see me in the dark
And then I won't have to swim so far
[Verse 2]
After standing on this shore for so long
I have no one to blame but myself if she's gone
[Chorus]
So I'm gonna swim for it
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,908 Likes: 9
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OP
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You're right about the metaphors, that's why I need a verse two that doesn't have them.
It's all about getting out of your comfort zone if you really wanna find love.
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Joined: Dec 2000
Posts: 12,010 Likes: 44
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......
Even crooked pots have lids .......is a translation of a Dutch relationship metaphor I've always like
When even crooked pots have lids
and frogs have turned into a prince
what am I still doing here
standing on this lonely pier
When all pianos are in tune
And nothing's fuller than the moon
lovers sway into the night
spend my time alone inside
have to get out of my house, get out get out
have to get out of my house, get out get out
XX
I'm gonna find my lid that fits
I'm gonna knock at castle gates
gonna go for all that's mine
goona do that exdtra mile
.....
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Joined: Oct 2001
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Thanks for the input John, but lids????????? mmMMmMMMm I'm not feeling that one lol
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 1,134 Likes: 69
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Hi Kay-Lynn,
I like the way you present these lyric puzzles. Good discussion is generated and you are an energetic knowledgeable moderator.
This one was a challenge, because I liked everything written.
My brain tells me that you must stay within the metaphor.
So stay in the story line as well.
I was shocked by the chorus! Wait. That’s a good thing. Why was I shocked? Because swimming out to meet/rescue…is….brave(yes, so courageous!)…foolhardy(yup)…suicidal(no,don’t do it)
So the second verse, you continue the story with friends talking you down, talking some sense, and coming up with good suggestion….staying the metaphor…..search and rescue, the coastguard, fisherman friend with a good seaworthy boat.
But alas all fails. So…….the chorus can be sung again.
Then what? Third verse or bridge……a great nasty Mother Nature weather storm….that leaves our singer a miserable wreck on the beach in the calm after the storm…..opens his weary eyes to see….way out in the calm waters his true love clinging to a raft……So he swims for it.
Bill
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Wow. That is so Walt Disney….lol.
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Hi Kay-lynn, try this: [Verse 2] I’ve been watching every sunrise From the same old place And every chance I let go drifting Feels like time I waste Maybe love don’t find you waiting On a dock you never leave The music in the chorus is still messed up but at least it will give you an idea: https://suno.com/s/rDutTe0H7Nncyifu
Last edited by Rob B.; 12/28/25 08:13 AM.
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Joined: Oct 2001
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Bill I like those ideas!!! Now you got my brain going in the right direction. Let me ponder that. Thanks for your great outline!
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Joined: Oct 2001
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Hi Kay-lynn, try this: [Verse 2] I’ve been watching every sunrise From the same old place And every chance I let go drifting Feels like time I waste Maybe love don’t find you waiting On a dock you never leave The music in the chorus is still messed up but at least it will give you an idea: https://suno.com/s/rDutTe0H7Nncyifuhey Rob... not sure if my vocal gave you the impression this is supposed to be an upbeat snap your fingers song... lol... but I love to hear different versions. This is certainly a song for a guy (I think)?... That's why I wrote 'so when she comes"........... Guys are actually just as worried about love and they tend to hole up in their house and then wonder why they can't find a girl. (especially now)
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,908 Likes: 9
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Since I started the first verse with "if"...
Maybe verse 2 should start with "when"?
or maybe another musing like
"if what I'm doing isn't working
that's what my friends say
than you have to do it differently
or you would be insane
I'll have to let down my ?????? or leave me water wings at home???? Just musing here LOL
get the reference to "doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result" -= insanity... snuck that in there
"It Mattered to THAT One"
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