I liked how you did a little remix on the tune. I thought of that, but didn't want to mess with the integrity of the song.
I like the lyrics, but I think for the style, especially in a current market, that they need to elude to sex or 'the club' or something along those lines. Kicking back and having fun and not worrying about tomorrow because all that matters is that girls' body right now.
I could be wrong, but that seems to be the real pop stuff right now. I went to a club the other night. Granted, I stayed at the bar, milking a $7 beer, but I really wanted to hear the music. And I was surprised at how much electronica has wiggled it's way into hip-hop and dance.

I have music for all of my songs and they vary from rock to country to folk and everywhere in between. (except rap)