Originally Posted by the songcabinet

I still stand on my position of being able to pose the questions yourself as something self-intuitive to be listen to, though. The logic would be that what you ask for (can see/ hear) must be on a conscious level, and that there then is a job to be done scrutinizing that sensibility.


Magne,

You originally said this:

I do feel, though, that if you can pose the question yourself asking if it sustains enough interest, you know deep down that it doesn't.

Asking if something is a problem doesn't make the thing a problem!

We ask, in critiques, in order to get feedback, and through feedback we can get a better idea about what others think. I was asking if there were any dead spots in order to know where I should either add music, or take away music, or if anyone thought that there needed to be more, or less.

I know what my motives are in asking about "dead spots." Saying that "deep down" I knew there were problems, is armchair psychoanalysis. This is a song critique! Psycho-analysis is not necessary.

If I am curious if something is a problem, it is NOT automatically a problem, because I am curious!!! I am asking, because I want critical advice. This is why we all ask. I ask because I want to hear various opinions.

If it were true that, every critical question posed by the songmaker were automatically TRUE, then one would not need have forums, OR a critical process, as one could then "self-analyze" 'til the cows came home.

Originally Posted by the songcabinet

I felt when listening that the song could use more to create interest in the first three sections, as it then would feel more like the later add ons in the arrangement was sustaining and not just building. I tried to make a point out of the difference between building and sustaining, allthough Im not sure how it came across, or if it has any viability at all.


Now...I am "hearing you" for the first time! You think there should be more music in the first three parts to sustain interest. You're right, I didn't get this from what you said, you intellectual, you!!!

You are the first to say this, and I must admit though, I under arrange the beginnings of songs, in general, and this one in particular, because I wanted the vocal to be extra intimate. I tried to make the vocal really interesting, by using some innovative techniques with "consonants as percussion" and was going for that "In the Air Tonight" vibe, with a little Brian Wilson in there too.

You think more orchestration, in the early verses, is a good idea? I will take this into consideration, because I respect your opinion. You understand it will be difficult for me, as my template is the Collins song, and it builds up too, from sparse beginnings. You are saying I am not "getting your attention" from the opening sentence, and I am hearing you. smile

Thanks for the return, Magne, all the best to you!

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 09/10/09 11:56 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)