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Mag Bar
by Gary E. Andrews - 07/14/26 10:43 PM
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So. Kind of a 3rd or something draft. I was reading something about Jack Kerouac the other day, and though I haven't yet read On The Road, I read through a bunch of quotes and I know I NEED to read it! This is an uptempo country song... I'll record a worktape later (I've got the chords and melody all worked out). Would love some suggestions on how to improve it.
I kind of wanted a little dark twist in there to shake things up, but don't know how well it's worked, if anyone would understand it - see the bridge. Could easily change that so there isn't a twist.
Kerouac
V1
Its a good few hours from our small town
To the edge of the world
Were kicking dust in the face of the sun
Flying south like birds
CHORUS
Wild eyes, truck tyres, ding dong ditch on heavens door
From now, tonight, were all we couldnt be before
We run away like sinners on holy ground
A sweet escape, doing Kerouac proud
V2
A handful of rebels that aint gonna settle
This side of judgement day
We had to hit that highway hard
Cause its been cursing our names
BRIDGE
We can all fall down like stars right now if we want
Let them find us when were too far gone
Yeah
CHORUS
Wild eyes, truck tyres, ding dong ditch on heavens door
From now, tonight, were all we couldnt be before
We run away like sinners on holy ground
A sweet escape, doing Kerouac proud
Wild eyes, truck tyres, ding dong ditch on heavens door
From now, tonight, were all we couldnt be before
We run away like sinners on holy ground
A sweet escape, doing Kerouac proud
Doing Kerouac proud
Doing Kerouac proud
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Joined: Jan 2005
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i'm likin' this Lex!Maybe another verse or two for us rebels.That's some good inspiration you're reading!Mike
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I'm like Michael, Like it a Lot!
My only Confusion, bein' a Yank, is that "Ding dong ditch" Line...
I'm Interpreting it to mean Ya ring the bell there, then Scoot-Away... But it's Not Easy for a Yank to instantly Translate that line...(& maybe I'm wrong?)
Quite the Enjoyable Read, overall!
Good Luck with it!
Best Wishes & Big Good-Luck Hugs,
Stan
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Kerouac Its a good few hours from our small town To the edge of the world Were kicking dust in the face of the sun Flying south like birds A handful of rebels that aint gonna settle This side of judgement day We had to hit that highway hard Cause its been cursing our names Wild eyes, truck tyres, ding dong ditch on heavens door From now, tonight, were all we couldnt be before We run away like sinners on holy ground A sweet escape, doing Kerouac proud * Passed here once in my grandpas truck
Back when I was eight
Not a clouds gone by in that warm blue sky
Wish I could say the same* <- NEW VERSE
We can all fall down right now if we wantLet them find us when were too far gone Yeah Wild eyes, truck tyres, ding dong ditch on heavens door From now, tonight, were all we couldnt be before We run away like sinners on holy ground A sweet escape, doing Kerouac proud Wild eyes, truck tyres, ding dong ditch on heavens door From now, tonight, were all we couldnt be before We run away like sinners on holy ground A sweet escape, doing Kerouac proud Doing Kerouac proud Doing Kerouac proud Michael - I added an extra verse - what do you think? Thank you, pleased you like the lyric! Stan - I looked up ding dong ditch just now, and actually I found that it's commonly called that in the states, haha! Maybe you're just missing something  LOL! Thanks for the comments, glad you like it overall.
Last edited by Lex Rose; 11/02/12 09:21 PM.
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Excellent Lex!i think you have the knack for this songwritin' stuff!Mike
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Very nice, lex! Fresh, honest and unpretentious!
I like it!
Keep it up!
Mike (aka mike # 2)
Last edited by Bluesriff; 11/02/12 11:51 PM.
Write on, Man,
Michael W. Brown, f.k.a. "bluesriff"
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others."
Mahatma Gandhi
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Lol thanks Mike #1, always good for an aspiring writer to have some level of talent, haha! Glad you think so  Hey Mike #2! Nice to meet ya! Thank you! What if I changed the third verse to this? Passed here once in my grandpas truck Back when I was eight Not a clouds gone by in that warm blue sky Wish *my heart* could say the same Does it work?
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yeah,i think it works Lex,if it's your heart only.I noticed in the other verse you use "I",i think though if you use "I" it speaks of you as a whole and not just something going on with your heart only.Personally i perfer "I".Mike
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Not sure I like that added verse Lex..it is too nostalgic and your wish for your heart to be the same is not in keeping with the rebellious nature of the singer.
I'm all for going for broke and flaming out somewhat, but better off for it, then coming to that great set of lines
We can all fall down right now if we want
Let them find us when were too far gone
Yeah
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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John - thank you for pointing that out, hadn't looked at it that way! What if I kept the first two lines and then wrote the second two about feeling free and happy like back then? So it gives more reason to why they're all running away. I can't really think how else to add to the story. I do feel like I want it to have a hint of nostalgia (sorta Tom Petty style, ya know?), but obviously not too much, as you said.
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Okay, how about
Passed here once in my grandpas truck
Back when I was eight
*I was telling him how Id never want out -
How things change*
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Mmmmm I now better understand you want to equate the carefree happiness of an eight year old out for a drive with Grandpa with the carefree happiness you feel as a rebel...
So yeah, you could change those last two lines, maybe something like this??
Passed this way in my grandpas truck
Back when I was eight
I'm riding high again, in the clouds on the wind
And not feeling any weight
Which leads nicely into those two lines I mentioned..
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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I like the eight and change near rhyme, and the idea works with the theme, but I'm not sure it ties neatly into those two lines...
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Hmm... how about
I laughed when he said I'd wanna leave someday
How things change
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That works for me Lex...ties things together very neatly
1) places you back in a nostalgic time\place for contrast
2) reinforces the rebel theme
3) ties into those two lines
AND it has the near rhyme you are looking for.
Hope I can hear it soon.
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Thanks I'll try record it now
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So it now looks like this?? Revised for final edit
Kerouac
2012 Lex Rose
Its a good few hours from our small town
To the edge of the world
Were kicking dust in the face of the sun
Flying south like birds
A handful of rebels that aint gonna settle
This side of judgement day
We had to hit that highway hard
Cause its been cursing our names
Wild eyes, truck tyres, ding dong ditch on heavens door
From now, tonight, were all we couldnt be before
We run away like sinners on holy ground
A sweet escape, doing Kerouac proud
Passed here once in my grandpas truck
Back when I was eight
I cried when he said I'd have to fly someday
How things change
We can all fall down right now if we want
Let them find us when were too far gone
Yeah
Wild eyes, truck tyres, ding dong ditch on heavens door
From now, tonight, were all we couldnt be before
We run away like sinners on holy ground
A sweet escape, doing Kerouac proud
Wild eyes, truck tyres, ding dong ditch on heavens door
From now, tonight, were all we couldnt be before
We run away like sinners on holy ground
A sweet escape, doing Kerouac proud
Doing Kerouac proud
Doing Kerouac proud
Last edited by John Voorpostel; 11/06/12 06:48 PM.
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Actually how about this - looked at the verse as a whole and saw that "I laughed when he said I'd wanna leave someday" could potentially be misinterpreted as leave that place that they passed :S
"Cried when he said Id leave home someday
How things change"
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Yup, you're right...
I was also thinking laugh might be too much, but only because I thought "smiled" was a bit softer and more reflective somehow...with a lot more going on inside than pure humour...
Not that your suggestion does not work...but how's about
I smiled when he said I'd want to fly someday
Because flying would be more "dreaming of the impossible" and hints at "letting go" and smile would hint at the inner reflection..and it ties back into hitting the ground
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Not sure about smiled, just because most 8 year olds aren't that reflective and mature in my experience! I remember when I was little, my mother saying I'd have to leave home one day and I always cried.
"Frowned when he said I'd want to fly someday" maybe?
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Not sure about frowned, but I agree smiled is definitely out...it is the rare 8 year old who would smile reflectively...
So maybe
Teared up
Choked up
something "near crying" ???
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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I've decided to go with
"Cried when he said I'd want to fly someday"
just because it feels most natural to me.
Thanks for your helpful suggestions John!
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Glad I was able to help you reach a bit deeper here Lex. Now only one more change...use "have to fly" instead of "want to fly" ....kinda like your mother said Best wishes atcha for this one.
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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Nice one John, that works, thanks
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I bought this girl's album. Lol. I thought she was good for her age and had a unique voice.
It's likely she is married with three kids and working as a nurse these days.
Was impressed
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 10/23/25 07:17 PM.
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Looks like at one time this was great site , now the only person always posting is me
We’re all built from the same dust and dreams,
Different roads, but the same means.
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Google
lex rose basingstoke uk
There will always be another song to be written. Someone will write it. Why not you? www.garyeandrews.com
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Google
lex rose basingstoke uk not seeing anything past 2013, but i guess i wasnt the only one who recognized her talent.
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Oh I remember this gem of a talent. First one of hers (I remember) was Am I Pretty Yet...an anorexic suicide ....chilling, haunting look at despair caused by trying to meet others' expectations. Dom, where did you find it\get it? This one by her is one of only a handful I ever I think hers is the only lyric by others I ever kept Just found the music here... https://www.reverbnation.com/lexrose/song/18585625-madeline-mayLast song on the list just press play and sit back ...then start at the top and work your way down Am I Pretty Yet © Alexis Rose Oh what a shame that he never came Didn’t see the way she cried that day Haunted tears rolled down her sweet face As she whispered through the rain “Am I pretty yet? Do you want me now? I’m so tired and it’s dark Should I keep holding out? Am I pretty yet? Can you see me now? I’ll keep waiting out here Hope you come around” She got home that December night Left alone in the faded light And for one painful moment she thought through it all So naive, thought she’d never fall “Am I pretty yet? Do you want me now? I’m so tired and it’s dark Should I keep holding out? Am I pretty yet? Can you see me now? I’ll keep waiting out here Hope you come around” They found a girl all dressed up in white Ribbon in her hair, lifeless eyes Just skin and bones lying in a bed And in her hand was a note that said: “Am I pretty yet? Do you want me now? I’m so tired and it’s dark Should I keep holding out Am I pretty yet? Do you love me now? I was waiting out here But you let me down”
If writing ever becomes work I think I'm going to have to stop
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"Parents are notorious for telling you not to do something, but not telling you WHAT to do instead. So here are my thoughts. Don't bite the hand that feeds you, give it a manicure. Don't burn your bridges, go out and build more! And of course, Don't run with Scissors, use them to cut out your press clippings!" -Brian Austin Whitney
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