John, I have no problem with "harsh". (-:
Nitty-gritty observations are what I was hoping for.

Once I've assimilated all of the excellent comments on this thread I'll look closely at how I can make the lyric more or most cohesive.

Donna

Originally Posted by John Hoffman
Donna,
he main thing here for me is the hook. Who or what are/is the memory police? A drunk's relationship fell apart okay. Who is policing who's memory? I mean it's a sad story and all but what do the memory police have to do with anything? Are the memory police even tangible?

Somehow I think something as ethereal as memory police requires a great deal of poetry or a story to make THEM tabgible rather than just a picture of a drunken artist.

What memories are we talking about? What does being arrested signify?

Sorry to be so harsh but I don't find this very cohesive.

John

Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.