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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 4,528
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Feb 2001
Posts: 4,528 |
Hiya Bobbie;
Enjoyed the lyric as usual. I noticed the hook is only repeated 3x...don't know if that's enough, though it is well placed and exaggerated by the pause before it would be sung.
Sometimes can deceive...seems it should be Can sometime deceive (though i'm thinking you might have meter issues if you flip it)
These two lines:
The man was too curt and the waitress was hurt
Though it was clear that he misunderstood
kinda seem somewhat vague in that i don't know what he was curt about and what he misunderstood.
Like the story though. And how sweet that an artist requested this! Congrats to you!
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