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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578 |
Hi again Bobbie. Well we've got a disagreement on the vowel rhyme thing. To me , it messes a song up completely when it's sung. Maybe doesnt other people. Going by your last verse , you're rhyming 2 and 4 and 6 and 8. In verse one , you've got an imperfect rhyme between 2 and 4 and a perfect ryhme between 2 and 5. Be that as it may , all I can do is critique it as I see it. Just going to do the first verse, keep or sweep
I badly needed a break and something to eat 'Cause I'd been drivin' all night Knew the food should be good,just an old sign made of wood But a row of trucks parked outside With a smile as warming as sun in the morning Creeping over the canyons rim The waitress said coffee's hot, she left the whole pot Said , I can see what you need my friend
Think the ideas good . Been done of course but so has most everything else.
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