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Lot Long
by Gary E. Andrews - 11/10/26 11:20 AM
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Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 6,578 |
Hi Bobbie. I printed it off for a better look. Seemed like "shabby" needed cut out of the third line.
In the chorus, I lose the rhythm after about the first half.maybe I'll pick it up. The vowel rhymes in the first half of the first two verses, on lines I don;t think are supposed to rhyme, throw me.
I'll get back. The idea is really good but think it neds some work.
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