Hey Bobbie!

Glad you had a good time - can't wait to see your FULL report.

This is pretty good for a quick write, but there's a little polishing you could do here and there. Kaley pointed out the lead in to the chorus:

All I get is icy indifference
And I'd rather live without

All I get is icy indifference
Which I can live without

But I really want to see something about cold/ice/snow/freeze/etc in the last line leading into the chorus.

The chorus seems a little clunky to me as written, but since it was written with music to go, it probably works fine.

The 'bridge' sounds more like the last two lines of a verse leading into a chorus. Without the music, I can't be sure. I won't get into the bridge thing though - you know what I'm talkin' bout... [Linked Image]

Solid otherwise and a bit of a departure for you I think. Ahhhh....doesn't it feel good to stretch?

BTW, that wasn't THE Matt Murphy was it? Matt "guitar" Murphy? [Linked Image]

hobes

hobes

"Every time I sit down to write a lyric, when I stand up I feel three pounds lighter" - Alan Jay Lerner