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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210
Top 50 Poster
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OP
Top 50 Poster
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 5,210 |
Hi Kim, I'm not sure why this hasn't had any comments I really like it. Thank you Dottie. I was not sure either, but I am getting some now...:)I love this guys voice I think it's perfect for this song! I like his voice too! The 1st thing that came to me about this song is the title. I think it's a cool title BUT that would make the singer my age or maybe a little older, lol. I don't think that's a good idea. I've been taught that image is so important and no one wants to sound old so I suggest changing the title to something that would make them no older than in their 30's. Well, yes it does..it would make them my age, as this was a car I was familiar with as a teen. It is hard when writing a true life song or partly because if anything to do with history is in it, it dates it..but then they want details..so it is hard to know what to do to make it personal and vivid yet still not too detailed to date it..The next thing is musical. I think the chorus sounds very much like the verses. I will bring that up to Chris. I got a good review for it on songu and plan to try to incorporate some of those ideas, if Chris is game. I was also told that to use the hook more than 2 times in the chorus is over using it. I was told that by Craig Bickhard and I'm not saying he's right just sharing info. I think I would change her name too I'm not sure but I think that name's been used in a lot of songs and it kinda dates to song to me too.  well, the hard part is also finding one with that internal rhyme in it..and that name was popular in the late 70's..so I was trying to keep up with their teen years and showing they are still together. But I will consider itI like that the bridge brings it up to date. I know that the music is different but I think if it was just a little more different that might be better. I hope I was a little help. I think you’re working on a very commercial song and with that thought MAYBE (I could be wrong) if it was a tad faster if might be more pitchable. Dottie Yes faster is something I was talking to Chris about, thought I think he was leaning toward keeping it slow like that American Honey song by Lady A...but maybe since he will hear that also from songu, he will consider it..  Thank you Dottie!!!!
*Always open to collaborations on my lyrics.. with singers and musicians, but PLEASE contact me before putting work into one--in case someone else has it..thanks!!** BMI Member All Rights Reserved http://www.littleikepublishing.com Email for Song Business Only littleikeproductions@hotmail.com
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