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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,235
Top 200 Poster
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Top 200 Poster
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,235 |
Hi Moker,
This sounds really commercial. It's chock FULL of hooks... it's very cool.
I'm sorta zeroing in on the same lyrical section as Mike, but my suggestion would be to consider something like this:
I'm gonna need a Life Line sometime tonight & a wing man to keep her friends occupied so we can slip away 'til the light o' day and get to the bottom of this *** feelin' that buildin' up, I think ***it's blowin' my mind I'm gonna need a Life Line
I don't think my suggestion is good enough... but I think it might work to have those two lines "get to the botoom of this feelin'.... etc" be one thought.
Just a thought. Very cool tune. All the best with it.
Peace,
Ian
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