Here, I'll start us off...

They’ve got opinions about opinions
But just one story to tell
I'm too old to be a star
I ain't got nuthin' to sell
My guitar is outta’ tune
It only has five strings
Can’t play the damn thing anyway
And nobody wants to hear me sing
‘Cause I suck!
Yeah, I know I suck...

All these lyrics keep me awake
My dreams won't let me sleep
Can’t type so I have to write
Can’t see so I shouldn’t drink
Yea’ I’m the one that won't shut up
'Cause the critics think they're smart
With my long hair ‘n boxer shorts
I’m a blasted work of art
And i suck!
Yeah, i know i suck...

I think morons rule the radio
Commercials are way too long
Wanna’ tell me how to live
Won't even play my song
It’s like some cosmic joke
Pills... 'cause pricks don't work
But the tune in that advertisement
Was played by this jerk... Ha!
‘Cause i suck!
Yeah, I know I suck...