I think the drums are outstanding. That sliding suspensory chord, very nice. Guitar solo and use of effects very good, bass line very good,

I couldnt make it into a hit, cause im nobody. and the subject matter would never make it on radio, i wonder if even christian radio would take it.

But I could try t make it better. What id first do is meake it more melodious. You could still put your character into while having a more singable melody. I guess its kind of a variation of blues, so that again would not be hit type of stuff.

But Id try to carve out a better melody, id try to make changes happen in it sooner, i think the ear wanders after about 8 bars of the sliding affect. Going into some sort of b section. Building to your cool little chromatic chorus. Your chord changes get lost cause of the piano in there, cool piano run but distracting to the melody and the change, in a way that the chorus goes unoticed.

Basicly moving it along and not getting tired with it. I think id swing the chorus a bit more like a walking rhtyhm.

But as i said this was never and not intended to be a hit, even if had a magic wand to make it happen

But i do like it and appreciate your talent. and its very different than the typical fare.

Last edited by Fdemetrio; 03/12/21 02:21 PM.