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Holly
by Ken Randall - 12/01/25 02:21 AM
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,373 Likes: 60
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OP
Top 200 Poster
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,373 Likes: 60 |
I wrote this one for my grandchildren... They Fill Up My Soulhttps://soundclick.com/song/15152290[Instrumental Intro] [Verse] Two little miracles with blue-sky eyes Born in Germany under cloudy skies Olivia’s golden hair dancing in the air And Hollis runs to Opa every time I’m there [Pre-chorus] We used to live more than two hours away Now we’re just a heartbeat from their everyday From Florida sun to the German rain Every mile is worth it just to hear my name [Chorus] Oh, they light up my life, they fill up my soul They make me feel young, they make me feel whole Unconditional love in their little hands They give me purpose, help me stand Hollis and Olivia, treasures of gold I wanna be in their story as I grow old Every moment with them makes me feel whole Yeah, they light up my life, they fill up my soul [Break] [Verse] Sleepovers filled with giggles and play Corn on the cob, though it’s not the German way Snuggled in bed with a story to share Two sleepy heads dreaming without a care [Pre-chorus] On video calls, if I’m not in sight Hollis asks, “Where’s Opa?” with all his might Olivia learns more English every day Two worlds in her pocket as she finds her way [Chorus] Oh, they light up my life, they fill up my soul They make me feel young, they make me feel whole Unconditional love in their little hands They give me purpose, help me stand Hollis and Olivia, treasures of gold I wanna be in their story as I grow old Every moment with them makes me feel whole Yeah, they light up my life, they fill up my soul [Bridge] And when they leave, I breathe a quiet sigh ‘Cause loving them so much brings a natural high But every visit, every smile, every embrace Feels like heaven shining right from their face [Final chorus] Oh, they light up my life, they fill up my soul They make me feel young, they make me feel whole Unconditional love in their little hands They give me purpose, help me stand Hollis and Olivia, treasures of gold I wanna be in their story as I grow old Every moment with them makes me feel whole Yeah, they light up my life, they fill up my soul [Outro] They fill up my soul They fill up my soul
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Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 7,912 Likes: 74
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You have a great idea here. Weakness in t opinion is the weak title, hook.
Specifying Germany twice in the song but stands out like a sore thumb. And you hear the awkwardness of it.
No need to mention Germany, you want it to be relatable .
And the nice flow and lyrics if verse, drops down a notch into the chorus lines
They light my life and fill my soul.that could be stronger, would take song to a different level having a good hook.
Some really good parts in it, can be tweaked
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 11/26/25 02:01 PM.
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,373 Likes: 60
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OP
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Dom,
thanks for taking the time to listen and for your feedback. I totally understand what you're saying about the Germany references. In most songs you’d leave out those kinds of details to keep things universally relatable.
In this case, though, that wasn’t my aim. This song is meant specifically for my two grandkids. That’s why I used their names and the places where they’re growing up. Their situation is unique — learning two languages, living between two cultures — and I wanted the song to reflect their real world.
It’s not meant to be universal. It’s meant to be something personal they can look back on one day, even when I’m no longer around. That was the intention behind it.
But you’re absolutely right: under normal circumstances you wouldn’t include all those details. Thanks again for the input — I really appreciate it.
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Joined: Oct 2017
Posts: 7,912 Likes: 74
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Dom,
thanks for taking the time to listen and for your feedback. I totally understand what you're saying about the Germany references. In most songs you’d leave out those kinds of details to keep things universally relatable.
In this case, though, that wasn’t my aim. This song is meant specifically for my two grandkids. That’s why I used their names and the places where they’re growing up. Their situation is unique — learning two languages, living between two cultures — and I wanted the song to reflect their real world.
It’s not meant to be universal. It’s meant to be something personal they can look back on one day, even when I’m no longer around. That was the intention behind it.
But you’re absolutely right: under normal circumstances you wouldn’t include all those details. Thanks again for the input — I really appreciate it. But the music is trying to be a hit. If this was personal you'd make it more singer songwriter ish, and who cares about the structure That's why I mention it.
Last edited by Fdemetrio; 11/26/25 02:54 PM.
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Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 1,373 Likes: 60
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OP
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Posts: 1,373 Likes: 60 |
But the music is trying to be a hit. If this was personal you'd make it more singer songwriter ish, and who cares about the structure
That's why I mention it. Dom, thanks for the clarification — and I get what you mean. My natural writing style leans toward mainstream structures, even when the song itself is personal. Most of my songs follow that kind of radio-friendly format, so that’s just how I tend to write, no matter the subject. In this case, the story is personal, but the style still comes out polished because that’s simply my voice as a songwriter. I appreciate your feedback though — it definitely gives me something to think about. Thanks again for taking the time.
Last edited by Rob B.; 11/26/25 03:01 PM.
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