Hi Scott,

A lot of good things going on here, but the way you sing The Hook

with seven Syllables spoils it for me I'm sure you could lengthen that line via other words, keeping the same melody.

No one would speak the word Arizona that way and that makes the song sort of unreal. alter that and you have a good song.


Without the right music your clever lyrics will never be heard, if you want success be prepared to re write many times and even change the meter you chose originally