Hiya TampaStan,

That's a funny one! Educational, too.

Got a question for you, though. When you write lyrics, do you hear a tune, or have a sense of the rhythm of the lines? Because from a musical perspective, it's not making rhythmic sense to me. It has a classic, by the book song structure as far as verses and choruses and bridges go, but as a musician, I would have trouble putting a melody to it because the number of syllables keeps randomly changing.

For example, I would assume the first and second verses sound the same musically. They would have the same melody, so the third line of the first verse would have the same melody as the third line of the second verse, right? But the third lines of each are miles away from each other, and I can't see how you could sing them with the same musical notes...in the first verse (If They Catch One in Your Pajamas) there are 9 syllables, but in the second verse there are 14 (Never-mind "Life Liberty & Pursuit of Happiness"). It's nearly impossible to sing those two lines with the same melody.

So, is this a song that already has music? If not, I would suggest re-working all your lines so they follow a similar meter or scansion to their "partners".

But HILARIOUS to read! I really enjoyed reading a song about...well...that most excellent invention!

Best Regards,

Lyle

http://www.soundclick.com/MarkKaufman