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(Lyrics are below)

Wesley,

Thanks for the feedback. Appreciated.

? Texas Music Scene? I dunno. The theme is an old one. "Out the door. Good-bye. Here's why."
? Randy Rogers and Wade Bowen? One of my very very favorite songs is "This Time Around." This POV of this song lives in that world.

"Well, I used to be crazy.
Call me a fool.
I guess I wasn't myself.
Back when I wanted you."

I saw Rogers and Bowen at House of Blues in Houston a few years back. They did an acoustical set.

? Internal Rhymes?
One of the most personally enjoyable songs I ever wrote is posted here and it has some internal rhymes. I wrote "Gone By Dawn" years ago. It's a way to long story song.

I write to narratives about social/interpersonal situations. I usually don't start out with a hook. I look for them once the song is moving. My "hooks" aren't usually "witticisms." I think of them as emotional payloads that seek to trigger empathetic feelings in the listener based on similar experiences.

I feel the same way about internal rhymes and other devices. I desire for my writes to be conversational to the point that someone could sincerely be saying the lyrics to someone else in everyday conversation and there would be no points where their speech seemed affected by a device or overly-rhyme-y.
Sometimes a device shows up and is completely non-interruptive. Sometimes not.


? Imagery?
"All the Hell" is about someone who "remember(ed) waking" and watched as someone "out the door you went"....

"I remember waking with you looking down at me"

And that person was...

"So, I'll just sit here looking back, Sippin’ on a Johnny Black, grateful for the single fact, It’s someone else, not me"......(internal rhyme)
and contemplating the positive outcome of a romance that went into the trash.

And it was summarized with,

"the clear view is in the rear view of this life we travel through" (internal rhyme)

For me that is enough imagery to allow the listener to overlay with their own "break up" experience(s).

What I've learned about architecture and writing is that people have different paradigms.

Thanks again,

Marty

Lyrics below:

VERSE 1
I remember waking with you looking down at me
Announcing that you’d had enough, there’s better fish in the sea
I’m the type, holds on too long, said give it one more chance
You went on, the thrill is gone, you’d found a real romance
Your words cut hard and left a scar like you wanted them to do.
A voice started saying in my mind, let go this thing is through
With a heavy heart all torn apart, I nodded in consent
With a sneer you turned away and out the door you went.


CHORUS 01
I’d just like to thank you for the fights we never had
For the lies you never told
For the cheating you never did
I’d just like to raise my glass and for one last toast to you
To the day you went away and all the hell that left with you.

VERSE 2
Well I hear you just wed number 3
Truly, that’s just fine with me
I’d wish you well but I know too well,
All the hell that’s soon to be.
So I’ll just sit here looking back
Sipin’ on a Johnny Black
Grateful for the single fact
It’s someone else, not me


BRIDGE
There’s a clear view in the rear view of this life we travel through.
And the hand of fate came into play…when you tore me loose from you.
I don’t bear no grudge, in fact, I feel gratitude
For the day you went away and took all your hell with you.

CHORUS 02
I’d just like to thank you for the fights we never had
For the lies you never told
For the cheating you never did
I’d just like to raise my glass for one last toast to you
To the day you went away and all the hell that left with yo