Originally Posted by Kristi McKeever
Cheyenne said Bernie T. probably had more ideas about popular song format than we give him credit for and he probably went back and forth with Elton John before they had something. I think that’s likely very true.

No one knows what went into a lyric...people only see the lines at the end of the process and those lines can be underestimated. Music can really bring out what the lyrics are really saying and ones that grab me tell a unique story in an interesting way or express an emotion in a way that I connect with. And like Donna said a page back, that’s the trick....and it does not usually come easy, for me, anyway.

And I agree...in “Your Song”, I hear it as an in the moment spilling of his feelings, as we witness this guy, sittin’ on the roof, kicking off the moss, trying to express himself. He can’t give this person anything...he’s not rich or flashy....but he has his feelings....these tentative thoughts that we hear...and he shares them. Those words are part of his emotion...and that’s the point...he’s vulnerable dancing around what to say. “It may be quite simple” indeed, but “this is your song”. What a gift! wink


Hi Kristi,

One thing I can't get around when I listen to "Your Song" --and makes me doubt its sincere tone is..if I was going to write a song for someone that was truly their song, I'd mention their name in it or say at least one thing about them. It seems beyond trying to create an atmosphere of a shy, backwards writer who barely knows the person he's addressing...and so the entire logic behind the song falls apart for me. Like so.. "hi there, nice person I admire, I wrote you this song, just for you..though I don't say your name in it..nor do I actually say anything about you personally..heck..that would make it less universal, but still, you gotta believe me, this is YOUR song..though..I'm gonna publish it and make it a hit, it is honestly and truly, your song" LOL..Don't hate me. It just seems to me like "Your Song" is smoke and mirrors and a clever trick..but IMHO NOT actually a song to give anybody special, since it could really be a love-letter addressed to "dear occupant." Okay, alright..he does comment on his/her eyes. They are the sweetest he's ever seen. I can see her finally making sense of the song, right there, saying to herself, "oh, that's nice, he likes my eyes.." wink

To me, it's relying on a clever gimmick to make it work. Not that there's anything wrong with that. "I Honestly Love You" is similar in form. With "I Honestly Love You" the singer addresses the potential creepiness in the bridge ("I'm not trying to make you feel uncomfortable") but that's missing in "Your Song," and I always imagine the "singee" getting a bit creeped out when the singer intones, "how wonderful life is while you're in the world" --thinking perhaps, "do I know this guy?" --cuz for the set up to work, the singer cannot know the singee very well, right? Or he'd at least remember the color of the eyes, or say at least one concrete thing about her..after all, isn't that how you make someone feel special? Let them know you've noticed stuff about them?

But I can see the mechanics of why folks like it, and it definitely slams the door shut on anyone else coming along and writing a "song of infatuation" that says very little about the singer or singee and is basically the singer telling of his inability to say anything specifically about the singee and moreover about his inability to say anything particularly clever at all, but will keep stammering on, regardless. Now THAT'S clever..

I agree with you about what BT was doing, there. It was a very meta and "showing" (as opposed to "telling") way of writing a first person lyric conveying shyness and the overall impression with most folks is one of sweetness and sincerity, but I think it's EJ's music that sways the material into that sweet spot. Monty Python could easily add a few more verses and made it a funny parody..that never gets to the "sweet eyes" line, and where the singer disregards personal space and gets really close when singing "how wonderful life is.." with the singee obviously getting irritated..

I just think it could have been more concise, even if that lack of concision might be what makes it feel more "homey" and real to most folks. And by "think" I mean "IMHO."

Thanks for sharing yours, you know I value it. smile

And I addressed this to you cuz I know you understand I am being mostly playful in my presentation.

Later ol' friend.. smile

Mike

Last edited by Michael Zaneski; 07/04/19 06:10 PM.
Fate doesn't hang on a wrong or right choice
Fortune depends on the tone of your voice

-The Divine Comedy (Neil Hannon)
from the song "Songs of Love"
from the album "Casanova" (1996)