Hey Cecilee,

Nice to meet you !

I'm loving the concept of this song. The musical riff, and especially the chorus work very well. The verses are a bit abstract, and could do with some tightening.

Performance wise it's a bit difficult to listen to. Musically, I can see where you want to go with it ( sure, it's only a work demo ) but to listen to, it is hard to not be distracted by the musical phrasing, and the wandering of pitch with the vocal.

There's a number of things which would help with it's delivery, and I'd suggest playing the song first, to a click track to tighten it up, then do a vocal overlay and go through the best phrases and pick and choose which work best.

Not all songwriters are great vocalists ( and they're not meant to be ) but when presenting your work, it works out a lot better if the sound is pleasing ( and in pitch ) to the listener.

I think it is a very soulful piece of songwriting, and with work, and with the right delivery, would be a memorable tune.

Best of luck with it.

cheers, niteshift

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