This is coming along nicely, Caroline. A fun story. smile

Just a couple of suggestions below. KOS. wink

The story's becoming nicely simplified, but I still find it a bit confusing. It seems she's been teasing him all week. I wonder how she's done this if they've scarcely seen one another? Also, the fact of him having to pick her up in an hour at the favourite spot is a kind of a red herring, given that she's been in the house the whole time he was showering. Or is it just me being obtuse. wink

Donna



Steam
© 2008 Caroline Holder
All Rights Reserved

Hadn’t [b] Haven't seen thatmy girl at all much this week
Overtime at work to make ends meet
Gotta get myself a hot shower
Gotta pick her up in about an hour

Says she’s got some plans for me
My minds been racing all week

Opened up that shower door, reached for my towel
Looked at the bathroom mirror, and it all seemed clearer now ("Now" sounds at odds with the use of the past tense. I think he'd be more likely to say "it all seems clearer now".)

Chorus
She wrote
Hey baby when you’re through
I’ve got a little surprise for you
I’ll meet you in our spot, in just a few
I hope you’re up for a change in routine
And I hope, you don’t mind, a little more steam

Towel in hand,my mind - I was going nuts (Otherwise it sounds as if the singer's mind has the towel in its hand.)
It was all I could do to get dried off
She’s been playing hard to get
But, that hasn’t slowed me down yet

She dropped a hint or two, put me in a blur
Like how she was wanting me to touch and kiss her (Did she write that on the mirror?)

I wonder if she spent any of her time betting
On me sweating, thinking of what I might be getting

Cause...
C-Repeat

Br.
I opened up the bathroom door
Saw Her clothes were on the bedroom floor
She’s got me on fire with all this secret talk
So I say, here I come baby, ready or not


C-Repeat

Tag

I hope you don't mind, a little more steam[/b]






Steam
© 2008 Caroline Holder
All Rights Reserved

We hadn’t seen each other all week long
Between long hours at work, and her at her moms
Planning a party, for her baby sister

Stepping out of the shower to get a wash cloth
Looked at the mirror through the hot cloud of fog
I saw the note asking how much I missed her

She snuck in while I was soaping up
one of them things 'bout her I love

chorus
She wrote
Hey baby when you’re through
I’ve got a little surprise for you
I’ll meet you in our spot, in just a few
I hope you’re up for a change in routine
And I hope, you don’t mind, a little more steam

Toweling off, my mind’s going nuts
It was all I could do to get myself dried off
And dressed before I met up with her

Out the door and I’m in my truck
Finding Another note on the rearview, just my luck
Saying just how she wanted me to kiss her


Driving over to her place
Couldn't wait to see her pretty face

C-Repeat

Br.
I walk through the front door and I found my surprise
There’s her, a big screen, my team, and 6 pack of light

C-Repeat
[/quote]

Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.

Life is too important to take seriously.