There are some good things here-I particularly like the third verse; it shows he has spunk. Saying "brilliant" must refer to the sentiment expressed, not the actual craftsmanship. A lyric should flow; be a natural progression. Cohesive, clear and focussed.When he says "damn it", he doesn't sound resigned like the rest of the lyric. Speaking of resigned, "Resigning himself to his fate" implies that he's about to eat a plateful, which doesn't jive with the next line.
Why is he walking faster? He doesn't wonder why, or how he got this way -he knows exactly.

Being the title, one would think "Tall and Thin" would be in the power position (last line) Actually "Tall and Thin" is a poor choice because this isn't about that. Some of the rhymes seem simple and obvious-more interesting choices could have been made.
There are many more things that need work here.
It appears to me that the NSAI group was insightful, helpful, and right on the money. Step back and look at criticism objectively.

P.S. You can't condemn people for judging fat people. All people are judged at first glance. If a punk loaded with tatoos and facial metal comes into your store-you get a first impression, getting to know him may alter or confirm that. You have to EARN respect. Again some good ideas here; needs work. Best of luck!




[This message has been edited by 9ne (edited 06-24-2004).]