hey

well, im the writer of the song that linda bumped up for you to read buzz, and im curious to know, after reading this, what you think?

the song is called "what does being fat feel like?"

it was written more as a question about ones self, but to a reader just seeing the title, they may think im a thin man wandering what being fat is like, and how could they go around like that? (which is nowhere near what its about).

so i may change the title to what the last line is, just to get people to at least read/hear it first, then comment..

yada yada yada.

as for your song, it depends on how its delivered. i think it should be delivered slow and depressing, like YOUR HIM, rather than delivering upbeat. upbeat would make it seem like your making a joke of a serious subject.

my only nit about the lyrics, is to not go back to the chorus at the end, because the chorus has him waking up. you want to put the emphasis on the fact that he passed away in his sleep.

i would also take out the fact that he died in his dreams. let his dreams be what they were, a vision of a healthier man. have him go out in his sleep, but not his dreams.


scott

PS i wrote the song i wrote, thats similar to this subject because i relate to this guy in your song, but im not sure whether i should be relating to him, because this guy let societies vision of him get the best of him.........I DONT.

im convinced society is wrong, and that im really thin, and maybe to some people i am.

MY WHOLE POINT IS THAT THE IMAGE THAT I CONCEIVE OF YOUR CHARACTER IS MUCH LARGER THAN THE IMAGE I CONCEIVE OF MYSELF, BUT I DONT KNOW WHETHER THE NEXT GUY WOULD SAY THE SAME THING. MAYBE THE NEXT GUY SEES US BOTH AS LARGE.

[This message has been edited by abraham is burning (edited 06-24-2004).]

"Writing gives me a shoulder to cry on, so that when Im around those who would give me their shoulder to cry on, I can use it to laugh instead"