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Here is a tune I wrote inspired by a buddy of mine who loses more battles with his inner demons than he wins......

Hope you like...

https://soundcloud.com/fredchoatemusic/80-proof-reality-worktape


80 PROOF REALITY
Fred Choate/ Sonny King 2013

VERSE 1:
He knew she’d left for good this time and he tried to kill the pain
He broke that empty bottle against the wall
The shattered glass reminded him of why she couldn't stay
He couldn't blame her or hate her at all

CHORUS:
HIS CLOUDED MIND KEEPS TELLING HIM TO HAVE ANOTHER DRINK
HIS BROKEN BODY TOO TIRED TO DISAGREE
THE HAZE OF ALCOHOL AND SMOKE REPLACES COMMON SENSE
HE'S IN TOO DEEP, HIS EYES TOO RED TO SEE
HE LOVES HER, BUT LOVE JUST CAN’T COMPETE
WITH THIS……80 PROOF REALITY

VERSE 2:
She’d been living with the charming ways of Old Jim Beam
The amber lust that kept him out all night
Promises fall to the side another reason for her to leave
She can’t beat it, she’s giving up the fight

CHORUS:
HER CLOUDED MIND WAS TELLING HER “GIVE IT ANOTHER WEEK”
HER BROKEN HEART TOO TIRED TO DISAGREE
THE HAZE OF ALCOHOL AND SMOKE CAST SHADOWS ON HER DREAMS
SHE’S IN TOO DEEP, HER EYES TOO RED TO SEE
SHE LOVES HIM, BUT LOVE JUST CAN’T COMPETE
WITH THIS……80 PROOF REALITY
BRIDGE:
THE MORE HE TRIES TO DROWN THE PAIN THE MORE PAIN HE FINDS TO DROWN
SHE CAN’T JUSTIFY THE WAY HE WANTS TO LIVE
SHE’S LEAVING HIM A BROKEN MAN BUT SHE CAN’T BARE TO TURN AROUND
IT’S JUST WASTED TIME, SOMETHING HAD TO GIVE

*INSTRUMENTAL BREAK*

CHORUS/TAG:
THE HAZE OF ALCOHOL AND SMOKE REPLACES COMMON SENSE
THEY’RE IN TO DEEP, THEIR EYES TO RED TO SEE
THE LOVE’S THERE, BUT LOVE JUST CAN’T COMPETE
WITH THIS…..80 PROOF REALITY

Hey Fred,

I realized I haven't had the good fortune to meet you yet so a belated welcome to JPF. As for the song, the lyric 'tis a fine one and the production is top shelf. Thanks for sharing. I enjoyed the listen.

Stevie

Thanks Stevie...much appreciated Sir

FRED--

YOU HAVE A REAL DRINKING SONG IN THIS ONE--MY DADDY HAD THE SAME PROBLEM; IT CAUSED HIS DEMISE--

I WAS FROM THE SAME MOLD; BUT WITH HELP, IT'S NOW HISTORY--BUT I WRITE A LOT OF SONGS IN THE SAME VEIN--

THIS ONE HAS A GREAT MELODY AND BELIEVABLE STORY--

I KEPT WANTING TO HEAR: LEARNING TO LIVE WITH EIGHTY-PROOF REALITY!

WRITE ON--

Mackie

Thanks Mackie....I have steered clear of "Montana Songs" for the most part, but I did write one called "Leaving Livingston" about Livingston Montana. You can listen to it here:

http://www.reverbnation.com/fredchoatemusic/song/14023173-leaving-livingston-home-demo-version

Mike Alan Ward is singing this one for me....

FRED--

LIVINGSTON SOUNDS GREAT--REAL GOOD ACOUSTIC PICKING--MOST OF THE NEW SOUNDS IN COUNTRY, HAVE LEFT FOR DIGITAL PLATEAU--BUT I STILL DIG ACOUSTIC GUITAR!

WRITE ON--

Mackie

Fred, I am one of the few who like an evolving chorus to help tell the story. It is one of the few places in a song where you can stay with the thought but update it or show a different point of view. They say some producers don't like that, stay with the same chorus for familiarity. BULL.... tell your story and this is a great example. Forgive me, but I am going to bump "Give Her Away" back up and you'll see how I used the chorus as a time line. Great job man!! :))) scotty

Thanks Man!

Fred, this is really good. I found the bridge to be somewhat of a letdown, especially line 3 and 4.

THE MORE HE TRIES TO DROWN THE PAIN THE MORE PAIN she finds to leave
SHE CAN’T JUSTIFY THE WAY HE WANTS TO LIVE
SHE’S LEAVING HIM A BROKEN MAN SHE CAN’T BARE TO TURN AROUND (this line should be about the whiskey and what it cost her)
IT’S JUST WASTED TIME, SOMETHING HAD TO GIVE
(This line could be way stronger, IMHO)

I hope this helps. Best of luck with it. I really like the title, too.

Tricia

P.S. This would make a great duet song.

Thanks for the comments. I will look closer at the bridge. By the way, originally, this was going to be a duet, and it still may turn out to be that. Glad you liked it

Fred,

Nice song you have here. Good lyrics and good melody. I also like the arrangement, but think the strings need to crescendo a bit more in places--at times they compete with the piano--both have their areas in other words. I really like your bridge--wouldn't mind hearing some harmony there to accentuate the desperation there. In places the vocals might need harnessed slightly--mastering would catch that, but always best to tweak before if possible.

You have a good one here, I really enjoyed it. Nice write!

steady-eddie.

Thanks Eddie. I will take a look at those strings and vocals.....vocals are not my thing, and harmonies even harder for me, but I am getting better

Hey Fred- I love this song. If I were mixing, I would cut the strings and hire either a pedal steel of fiddle player, and this song could be a top notch contender. The pain in the lyrics hits home no matter who sings it, or how it's played. Every time we push play on our recorders, and set out on our writing journey, we all hope to wind up at a destination like this. Very well done-Bobby

Thanks Bobby....strange enough as it sounds, there are no local steel players here in Billings that I can find...I have several tunes that I want to put steel on too Thanks for the comments and the listen. Glad you enjoyed.

Hey Fred- Do you record at home? If you do, I have a friend that is the utility player in Rascal Flatts. He would add the part for you.He would send his part back to you as a Wav file, and then you just import it and line it up in your project. His steel parts are impeccable. Drop me a PM if you would like his info-Bobby

I do and that would be pretty cool. You can contact me privately at fredchoatemusic@gmail.com

Thanks Bobby

I think this song might be more powerful if it was written in the first person. It would paint the singer in a less-than-flattering light, but it would be more heart (and gut) wrenching.
The music is almost too pretty for the subject matter.
I like the line in your introduction about "a buddy of mine who loses more battles with his inner demons than he wins." That (or a variation thereof) should be in a song somewhere.

I am currently putting together a duet in first person. I agree that it would be a bit more powerful, but it will decrease its commercial appeal a bit....I am just waiting for a female singer I know to free up some time and put a vocal on it. It will be slightly rewritten, and I am thinking about shortening it up just a bit musically as well.

Thanks for the listen and comments

Heart breaking subject matter but you've captured the pain, in the story, brilliantly.
I agree it could make a nice duet.

Not exactly the same story but I just watched "Days Of Wine and Roses", again. One of my all time favorite movies about alcoholism.

Leaving, alcohol, and country music make a terrible trio.

LOL Jim.....I thought about using cotton candy, birthday parties, and rap, but I couldn't get my simple country mind to make it work.... LOL

Thanks Nelson

Really a great lyric here and a melody that blends with it perfectly. Beautiful job. Well written song all the way around.

Dave

Thanks Dave....check out the duet version I posted as well. I appreciate the comments