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EXCEPT IN MY DREAMS

Lyrics by Sunset Poet
Music By Suno
Core concept by Kay-lynn Carew
Genre - Started as "Whiskey Blues" and then, "Country-blues" blend

FAVORITES
FEMALE VOX - 251227 - Country - https://suno.com/s/35PUVDbQKhtvFqZV
MALE VOX - 251231 - Blended Blues-Country - https://soundcloud.com/sunset-poet-of-texas/251231-except-in-my-dreams



OTHERS
251230 - Duet - https://suno.com/s/OekliLhesYHHpRCX
251228 - Bluesy-Country version, female vocal - https://suno.com/s/A4XLjSZ2WlvQkyAp
251227 - Blues (STENCIL) - https://suno.com/s/psxBCmuor5SHMj0g
251226 - 1st blues version-vocal - https://suno.com/s/l4FslZyTS1dIT6Of


[VERSE 1]
When we parted ways, that was long overdue.
All we did was argue, there was no me and you.
Years went by ,I found new love and moved on with my life.
I quickly forgot you, and all the endless strife

[VERSE 2]
Then came the dreams, from clear out of the blue.
It had been years since I had even a thought of you.
Dreams of you and me, endlessly embraced.
You hold me tight, you kiss my lips, caress my face.

[CHORUS 1]
Why couldn’t you love me! except in my dreams?
Why must I be asleep! to see what might have been?
Why couldn't you love me! out in the light of day.
Why must I dream, to feel you love me this way.

[VERSE 3]
As I sink into the pillow, uneasy is my night.
I tell my mind, no dreams! but I know I’ll lose that fight.
Lying there, I hear a prayer, gently stirring in the air
Now I lay me down to sleep, It seems my soul is yours to keep!

[CHORUS 1]
Why couldn’t you love me! except in my dreams?
Why must I be asleep! to see what might have been?
Why couldn't you love me! out in the light of day.
Why must I dream, to feel you love me this way

[BRIDGE OUT] {softly}
I surrender to these dreams. I can't help but want to stay.
then daylight comes, and steals them all away?[img]http://https://drive.google.com/file/d/1mvQA1yQyYLva-ZaneKxOzP2Uti0zT8uQ/view?usp=sharing[/img]

Geesh you scared me for a minute there I thought you were talking about "me". hahhaha... are you talking about "same time same dream".. I'm truly honored you wrote your own version. That's pretty kewl.

That's one killer chorus you got there friend!

Soon forgot about you, was glad to forget, then came the night.


Verses should have the same number of lines, since your chorus is so long, keep the verses to 4 lines cus the listener just wants to sing the chorus. Just my opinion.


"strife is a weird word" (smile)

Thanks for the listen and the feedback Kay-Lynn.
Appreciate the compliment on the chorus.

As for the number of lines? I don't disagree that, that is a song writing rule of thumb.
But I don't have the same level of concern for that in this particular song.

This singer is a guy with something to say about something weighing heavily on his mind. He is opened up and bleeding into a microphone.
He doesn't care about anyone's rules. He cares about delivering his passion and getting his points made. It's organic and not looking to be refined.
If a listener is going to stay with the song, it will likely be the overall tonality, the singer's passion and some similarity to their own life... that keeps them interested.

"Strife" is not weird to me. Maybe I'm weird...but I wrote the lyric.

My next iteration of the lyric will be a country song and female singer.
I'll do a version of that modified to follow your suggestion closely.

Thanks again for bringing an enticing concept to this site..."Same time, Same dream."

Marty

Yeah usually it's a 6 line v1 then 4 line v2 to get to chorus quicker . Sounds good Marty. You could run a channel like this guy , its all AI songs

https://www.youtube.com/@dirkholstege

Thanks Ben.
This blues version is the first planned song of a few iterations.
I thought that blues was the most expressive way to express the lyrics, and I love the blues. Endomorphin drug.

The next iteration will be country with a female singer.
I plan to trim and do some re-writing on both the verses and the choruses.
Will likely even see how an AI will re-write the song.
When finished, nothing stops that from also being processed as blues.

Beyond that, have no plans.

251227
Made some cuts to blues version in order to change to country.
Stayed with blues for now. Love the sound.

https://suno.com/s/psxBCmuor5SHMj0g

251227 0358pm

Transitioned to Country without changing any terminology yet.

Ask SUNO for:
Modern country, female vocals, touch of Black blues, light steel pedal.

First try...
I wrote this song, yet hearing this female voice, tugs at my emotions more than I thought that it would.

https://suno.com/s/35PUVDbQKhtvFqZV

Marty,
This sounds good, but I might lose the line in your 3rd verse. My heart won't listen..., the other thing that doesn't ring right for me is (what might have bean) shouldn't it be (what might have been) JMO
Tex

Listening to this I realized SUNO and such is really a mechanism that largely allows people to make music for themselves that the world will never hear..and what people paid lots of money for in the past is now largely free
It has democratized home music production\consumption ...in the moment music creation.

If a few prompts and a lyric ---even lyirc cab come AI...can produce something like this...

Tx
Thanks for the input. I am going to re-write some of the terminology for the "country" and "eislish-ish " versions.
I'll put your comments on the agenda.

Regarding..."bean"...it is "been." I told SUNO to sing "bean" so that it would rhyme with dreams.
Regarding..."my heart wont listen"...please explain your objection.

Marty

Fact.
If not for SUNO, I would have never spent the money that it would have taken to get this song to sound anything like this.
And in spending the money, I would have been involved in all sorts of differences-of-opinion trying to arrive at something that sounded this good...which was spit out in seconds.

It's here. I say use it to the best of one's ability.

5 minutes??? I like where it's going, but .......... dude... it's long. Still love the chorus

Why couldn’t you love me! except in my dreams?
Why must I be asleep! to see what might have bean?<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<been
Why couldnt you ever love me! out in the light of day.<<<<<<<<<<<<take out the word "ever" it's not needed
Why must I dream, to feel you care for me this way<<<<<<<<<<<<why must I dream, to feel you love me this way

Well, it has transitioned from blues to country and is still working towards being...something...of some length.
Deleting chorus #3 and the outro would prolly trim it substantially...but I enjoy the sound when the chorus turns around on itself from 2 to 3.
For me...endomorphin spike right there.

Dillemmas.

I find that all the other verses are a AABB rhyme scheme and your 3rd verse is a five line verse. Making it an AABCC rhyme scheme. I do not think it's a bad line at all and I can see how you would like to fit it in. As far as (BEAN) and (BEEN) you've got it in your chorus and it wouldn't hurt to have your chorus a different rhyme scheme than your verses. Bean to a listener doesn't hit right, maybe some might not hear that it just hit's my ears wrong.
Good Luck

I stand by my statement that "ever" is a filler word.

Having said what I said up above...
A lot of people can write songs. They are all looking for that idea that makes writing the words easy.
Kay-Lynn's concept of only being able to meet in a dream in order to share a romantic love, is what is very special and very human here.

Thanks again Kay-Lynn. I'm having a wonderful time writing to this.

Marty

Thanks Tex.
I'll go back and look at it.

Well, as you may have picked up on, I value what you think.

Marty

Thank you Marty........... and I enjoy watching you flesh out the best song you can write. It really makes my day very enjoyable.

25128 EXCEPT IN MY DREAMS
Bluesy-Country version
Persona: Sweet Country Lady

Song is still too long: Working on it.
Tex: took out line in V3, took out been.
Kay-Lynn: took out "ever", changed chorus line to "love."

Made a few other minor lyrical changes.

https://suno.com/s/A4XLjSZ2WlvQkyAp

Years went by ,I found new love, moved on with my life.....years went by I moved on with new love in my life

And you don't need v3 at all IMO....maybe a unique one line musical\lyrical bridge instead?

This has Janis potential

Thanks for your input John, but disagree.

regarding my life,
In my version the singer is slightly stumbling through her thoughts...to my ear...conveying emotion.
Your lyric seems too matter-of-fact to me.

regarding V3,
The purpose of V3 is to make the situation tangible for the listener. Seeing themselves in their bed trying to put some thoughts out of their mind...as everyone does.
And to set up the punchline which is a play on a well known bedtime prayer. Musically, that "play" is not working yet.

Hay Marty

I think there is a few places in the first two verses you could trim it down a bit, Can't fault you cuz I seam to do the same thing.

But her you go,

Years went by, I moved on with my life
Forgot about you, and all the endless strife

Then the dreams came, out of the blue
Been year since I'd even thought of you

In verse three, I know you're playing off a prayer but I might think it should be (My heart to keep)
Also I would think that she would be looking forward to the dreams not trying to keep them from coming. JMO
After all the last line of your chorus is, Why do I have to dream, to feel you love me this way?

Good Luck
Tex

Thanks for your input Tex.
Am gonna be going back to the song, on and off, over the next few weeks.
Will try out some of your suggestions.

Marty

I tried to get a Billie Eilish-ish version for the lyrics, but after several attempts all I can seem to get is a stock 80's female pop sound with electric piano, that is bland and predictable. Below is the prompt.

2025 Current adult contemporary / pop song styling with young caucasian female vocal, ONLY GRAND PIANO ACOMPANIMENT, NO OTHER INSTRUMENTS, Ethereal, Dreamy, Freedom in vocal melody, Lots of air and some whisper-ish vocals, Use of falsetto, Sad and pensive mood

If anyone has any suggestions on the prompt. Am glad to take a look.

https://suno.com/s/GhT5cVpr995OyIvh

This is a duet.
Music has more "groove." Likeable.
Tweaked some lines.
Song is just under 4 minutes, but I'm good with it. Robots dont wanna stop singing at 3 to 3.5. I'm good with letting them go on.
They scare me anyway.
https://suno.com/s/OekliLhesYHHpRCX


This duet blends blues and country.
https://suno.com/s/o5EGHYvnFfoHiF3i

251231 Blended Blues and Country, male vocal
https://soundcloud.com/sunset-poet-of-texas/251231-except-in-my-dreams

You can add in the promt a song 3:30 long

''

I tried that. SUNO ignored it and produced a long song anyway.
I like this song as it stands. -
I think that this blues-country blend is my fav of the bunch. - https://soundcloud.com/sunset-poet-of-texas/251231-except-in-my-dreams
It tells the message that I have in mind in a mood that works...which is a slow BPM...which lengthens it.
To my ear, this male vocal sounds like he lived it.

I tell you what though...
If a major label and artist ever call me about the song and want the length cut down...I'll figure out something.
If and until...4 minutes is about where the song seems to want to be.

You can pitch to Spotify Artists . Someone climbing the ranks . Thats what a Curb Rep told me to do . thats realistic , No Major is calling you . They don't take unsolicited material

My remark about a major label and artist was levity.
I'm not delusional.

That is one of the reasons, I like the song at 4 minutes. I have no reason to be concerned about the length.

I'm delusional , it keeps me occupied

LOL
Those robots keep you occupied.
LOL

Delusions of grander marnier Elvis....

Maybe we should make a rule "don't drink and post"... LOL............. teasin

Oh yeah Rusty throaty , let’s do lunch

I won't ask for an explanation.

Let's go with...Happy New Year, to you and Rusty Throaty.
I suggest you not drive tonight.

Marty

As for the song;


FEMALE VOX - 251227 - Country - https://suno.com/s/35PUVDbQKhtvFqZV
MALE VOX - 251231 - Blended Blues-Country - https://soundcloud.com/sunset-poet-of-texas/251231-except-in-my-dreams
MALE-FEMALE DUET - https://suno.com/s/OekliLhesYHHpRCX

Kay-lynn....

I posted this song on another site and credited you as follows;

Core concept by Kay-lynn Carew

If for any reason, you would like me to remove the credit, let me know and I will.


Marty

Hey Marty,

This is a really good take on the dream theme. Really good. I’m going to pick the genre suno music that I like, and put it in my liked folder called Marty. expect $1.23 royalty check in 2032 or there about.
Bill

It's not necessary, but nice of you. Thanks

The drama so thick, yu can cut it with a knife

Thank you very much Bill. I'm flattered to have a Marty folder.

That's a long time to wait for a royalty check. In the immediate, I might go to the bank and see if I can use it as collateral to buy a vacation home in the Hamptons. I'll make the case to them that it's like an internet start-up. Today's value is based on assumed future values

Marty

You mean, I should try to write like this?

You honestly think this is betyer than when blue turns to gray?