JPF Home Page Forums Lyric and MP3 Feedback A.I. Assisted Music Forum I don't Want Mary Anne

Garage rock had a revival round 2000, white stripes, the hives, the strokes, artic monkeys. Another genre I love. I know this sounds mean, but rock is about attitude, but having fun with it too

I remember listening to some of it and writing this.

https://www.soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=14812221
She had the same eyes
the same smile that you do
she was so different than most
but looked exactly like you

Gotta look away now
Gotta take cover or you'll make me go blind

I don't want Mary Anne!

I don't wanna pay for each an every day
I don't want Mary Anne
I don't wanna give me pleasure up for pain
I don't want Mary Anne
[Verse repeats] She wore a size 2
but her weight was a ton
and if I didn't carry it all
well, let's just say she wasn't much fun

Gotta look away now...
I'm starin at her sister who on earth put you here?

I don't want Mary Anne!

I don't wanna hear the same relentless gump
I don't want Mary Anne
She dropped me on my head and walked on every lump
I don't want Mary Anne
Mary Anne!
So, will you be her?
Just because I see her
Well, then you might as well say good night
And walk away from this flight

I ain't got the time now
I'm headin out to Vegas anyway anyhow


I don't want Mary Anne!

I don't wanna pay for each an every day
I don't want Mary Anne
I don't wanna give me pleasure up for pain
I don't want Mary Anne

Takes me back Dom....only nit is the long intro...this needs to hit quick IMO

like the interlude and the ending works well

Now tell me about "the players" and how you produced this please

With AI and such I would like to know

[quote=John Voorpostel]Takes me back Dom....only nit is the long intro...this needs to hit quick IMO

like the interlude and the ending works well

Now tell me about "the players" and how you produced this please

With AI and such I would like to know[/quote
]

Well my ultimate plan is to do my own version of these songis, I sing and I play, I've gotten bored .or just using AI as the band

I'm glad you asked about how I did it, cause the consensus here is click and go home.

Not the case. In this version, you dint name the "players"

You enter lyrics and trust you ears to find you something. But what you asked is key.

You enter style, genre etc into the description box. But that's not where the magic is. Your keywords how you describe it, brings you closer to your goal.

But that's a secret sauce.

I agree , intros
and solos are always too long. It likes 16 bar breaks, cause that used to be the standard. But in today's world 4 bars or Max 8 is all they'll listen to

There is a button you can use to shorten the proposed section but doesn't work.

I'd be glad to get you rolling.

There is no doubt though, the better your musical instincts the better results.

Just hearing what is working is important.

Right now I'm using eduio.

Careful it's highly addictive, till you burn out

Thanks for the background

Have not used delibirately AI myself for anything ...had it fall into my lap so to speak. Irritating use by Google right now IMO

For myself, I want it all from my own mind and hands....AI is a tool I'd rather avoid simply because it makes creation too easy.

When I begin a song it is messy and sloppy and sounds awful...and sometimes gets no better

But then once in awhile a gem emerges....and the process of improving stuff is wonderful

If you're a lyricist it's invaluable.

It does make creation easier, not necessarily better.

I've seen what it can do, I'll be more happy putting myself into the picture.

But your creating is from your lyrics. It always helps, I believe, if your lyrics were already part of a song . Cause if it works once, it's likely to work twice.

But it can teach you about structure, and line position, and that you need to avoid clumsy writing. The more economical and concise, the better results

Hit for The strokes

"I don't wanna hear the same relentless gump
I don't want Mary Anne
She dropped me on my head and walked on every lump"

"but her weight was a ton
and if I didn't carry it all
well, let's just say she wasn't much fun"


That is terrible.
It is so bad, that it is good, at being bad.
An exemplary example of bad.
Not nearly as bad a "bowling ball eyes" from one of your other craft-works, but terrible nonetheless.

Marty, I suggest you learn abit about the genre.

This actually has a slight story to it, as opposed to most punk Rock.

Critique I wanna be sedated, or blitzkrieg bop, or should I stay or should I go, or
I bet you look good on the dance floor by artic monkeys, or last night by the strokes

Or wild thing, or what I like about you

You know old fart music,that's all you know.and as a juvenile punk song it's still better than anything you have offered.

Your just mad that some of your cronies and I now get along.

You have never produced anything this good.

I have never produced anything that bad.

I don't care what genre it is. The music sputters and the lyrics arent even good enough to call lame.
It is terrible.

As far as you getting along with Rob and Tony or anyone else, why would I care?
You're new found friendships are only stable for the next ten minutes or so anyway.
You will return to calling em names.

But that, as usual, is besides the point.
The lyrics are terrible.

How does someone "walk on every lump?"
And what is accomplished by even saying that?
Does the person walking on lumps have "bowling ball eyes?"
Terrible.

You walk on somebody, by taking advantage, by not caring, by being arrogant.

Lump on head by being dropped ,then walking on it is akin to rubbing salt in a wound.

It's amazing how your own shite or anybody else doesn't strike you as terrible.

Not much I can do about your twisted biased opinion except flush it where it belongs.

Every single person here knows im a better writer than you.

But keep trying

I got what you were trying to say, but the form that you put it in is ridiculous and lame.
The fact that you think it is so good underscores why you are so bad.
It is ridiculous.

So is I wanna be sedated

Marty, I’m not sure why you mentioned my name here — I haven’t commented on this song, and I’m not part of whatever back-and-forth you’re referring to. I’m not a close friend of Dom, and I’m sure he can confirm that.

This song is bad. Just listen to the demo. The line: "well, let's just say she wasn't much fun" doesn't flow at all. Not even AI could get that line to flow properly.

But please, just leave me out of your posts. I thought we had agreed to ignore each other. I’d appreciate it if you’d stick to that. Btw, you have also produced some bad sounding demos. Your opera productions weren't too cool, even though you thought they were. You're a good songwriter, but opera is not one of your strengths.

No no, I don't think it's so good, I think it's a good sisong overall.

With limitations of ai.

I think the chorus is great..I wouldn't take blitzkrieg bop and make fun of the lyrics, it's a vibe

I know better

I don't deserve hatred fir writing a song.quite obvious your review is cherry picked and calculated.

If I question your sincerity I then just have to read your lyrics and your responses to others, becomes blatantly obvious then.

Calls your credibility into serious question

Of course you do.
That is what makes you so bad at writing.
You think that anything you do is great and say so, even when it is ridiculous as is the case here.

did I say everything?

I know that you and Dom arent but he suggested that you were.

So...you can drop in on me out of the blue and give me your two cents about why I don't measure up to your standards...but I am not allowed to mention you in posts?

No sale.

You and your kindred spirit Dom both dropped in and started spreading trash.
That is why I dropped in on this song and said what anyone, not crazy, would think of it and that is why I began handing your crap back to you.

Solution for you to lovelies?
Leave Marty alone...or expect some raw truth.

Rob every single song you write is bad

Saying that this sad piece of writing is great has to mean that you think that everything that you do is great.
This is ridiculous.

Well, no more hugs and kisses for you two.

I don't think it's a great piece of writing, much as I dint think any Ramones song is a great piece of writing

Marty, just for the record — I didn’t mention your name. You mentioned mine. Don’t try to reframe yourself as the victim. I’m not here to argue. You keep twisting things and turning every post into a fight. I’m done with it. Please don’t mention me again, and I’ll gladly do the same for you.

I don't have a problem with that rob, there was never hugs and kisses.

But he's not going to insult my work, he has no idea what bad is all those carol lyrics he praised

High strung people confuse easy.

Stay above the fray if you don't want garbage coming your way.
Next time you feel like dropping in on me with declarations that name calling is pathetic, after my name has been derogated...don't, and I won't tell you what I think.

Your diaper rash is clearly still raw after "Gerlymonya,"
Get past it and leave me alone.

Can someone translate that to English?

Again, Marty, I did not drop in on you, and I never called you any names. To me, it’s clear that you and a few others are contributing to the decline of this site.

Dom,
are you serious? What does your song have to do with my songwriting? This song is not good. Can you name me 2 top 10 billboard chart hits that had a similar topic? Listen to the line: "well, let's just say she wasn't much fun". That line doesn't flow at all. Don't you hear that not even AI can get that line to flow properly? I thought you were a good lyricist. Don't you hear the issues?

Trouble in paradise Rob?
You came into the conversation and supported Dom's side of the argument.
Yet, in the midst of that, Dom turned and attacked you and your songwriting talents, without provocation.

Why?
Because he is a broken and dysfunctional personality. A troll.
This website will never ever achieve cohesion as long as he is allowed to act out here.

btw...the song is terrible, yet Dom will proclaim it's worthiness ad nauseum.
Even calls the chorus "great."
Another clear indicator of a warped mind that resides in a mental alternate universe.

no I believe you said...
This song is bad. Just listen to the demo. The line: "well, let's just say she wasn't much fun" doesn't flow at all. Not even AI could get that line to flow properly.

But again, it's not understanding genre.

With udio I can write...down hime rock n roll, I can write country, old or new, but I end to stay away cause I don't understand the genre.

I can write doh wop, funk, blues,, grunge, singer songwriter stuff.

Fir best results understand the medium you are using.

The ramones should never be broken down for lyrics, it's supposed to be fun, goofy, stupid, it was really a call back to how rock fist started.

Girls cars getting pissed off...

My lyrics here do enough to bring home the massive hook.

It's never going to be poetic or deep.

"massive hook?"

What massive hook is that?

btw...Rob and I are not pals. But there is a reality that transends all distorted perceptions.
The least of Rob's songs is better crafted than the best of yours.
Your unprovoked assault on his talents is another absurdity characteristic of you.

wasjt unprovoked he wrote

This song is bad. Just listen to the demo. The line: "well, let's just say she wasn't much fun" doesn't flow at all. Not even AI could get that line to flow properly.

If he wrote that, it is because it is so clearly and obviously true.
The lyrics and music are a spitting and sputtering mess.

It is you who can't see the obviousness in that.

The issue of line flow...

One limitation of ai, is that, once it established a flow, a rhythm of words.for say first verse
It's not able to figure out how to make a melody fir second verse unless it's exactly the same meter wise.

Which as a singer I'm able to do.

So you live with any imperfections it might have, knowing how you'll approach it when performing your self.

Anybody who thinks these tracks belong to them are morons anyway.

For me it's reference and thumbnail Sketch

The limitation of this song is the ineptness of it's lyrics and construction, not AI.

Walking on every lump - is DOA as an illustrative concept and a line in a song.
It is astonishingly bad, but still topped by "bowling ball eyes."

Coming from somebody who has not written one good line in a decade, not sure how much sleep I'll lose

Coming from someone who wrote, "walked on every lump," and "bowling ball eyes"....

how seriously would you expect me to take your opinion of anything, including me.

Two words... Say whut

Even that, which was just a lark was much better than anything you have written.

Dom,
you posted a song, I listened to it start to finish, and I gave you honest feedback. You’re free to disagree with it — that’s part of a critique forum. But responding by saying that every song I write is bad is just an insult, not a discussion.
If you don’t want critique, then say so when you post. Otherwise, don’t attack people for not giving you exactly what you asked for.
I pointed out a specific issue — the flow of that line — and instead of addressing it, you blamed AI. That’s your choice, but it doesn’t change the criticism.
Dom, don’t expect me to listen to your future songs if this is how feedback is received.

Because it's not terrible, and you know it.

I mean I read your critique of Guys latest song, it was Beautiful...

But this is just so terrible.

And just about everybody else you tell them how good it is.

I don't deserve that kind of review, and it doesn't matter really cause you have no clue about good songwriting.

If you don't like this , oh well. There are people who don't like Hotel California too.

The fact that you think I'm stupid enough to believe your approach is what causes me to fire back.

If you don't like the song but like Guys latest, then so be it

Don't try to attack me in the process.

A little respect for somebody who consistently posts pretty good stuff is appropriate.

Im a musician as well as singer and writer, spent alot of time at this.

I respect your opinion, I just know the difference between critique and an attack

Dom,
Serious Question;
Do you like this boxy "dead-room" sound?
The reason I'm asking;
You could easily replicate this "mix/master" with EZDrumz, an amp, and just one mic.
Hell, you could even use "Audacity"...

Just Sayin'!

Im a big fan of The Strokes, white Stripes, Jack White,artic Monkeys, Mooney Suzuki, Chesterfield kings, the hives all those neo retro bands.

Love the minimization,, and still they reach wide audiences

Well yeah, garage rock is all about the sound, I'm not sure this is the sound id choose.

Can definitely re do it, domize it.

Frankly my phrasing would be better.

Then, why keep screwing with AI?

Pull up one of your old drum programs and do a "Sound Check"!

Dom,
you’re reading intent into my critique that simply wasn’t there.

I said the song had issues, not that you were terrible. You chose to take it personally, and then you attacked me as a writer in return. That’s not critique — that’s just retaliation.

I don’t owe every song a positive review, and my opinion of someone else’s song has nothing to do with yours. I listened to your track, I pointed out a specific line that didn’t flow, and I explained why. That’s exactly what a critique forum is for.

You’re free to disagree with my take, but telling me I “have no clue about good songwriting” isn’t discussion — it’s just an insult. If your expectation is that people only tell you what you want to hear, then say that upfront.

I’m not attacking you, Dom. I’m giving an opinion on a song you posted. If that’s a problem, then it’s better for both of us if I simply step back from commenting on your work in the future.

The same deal war between 4 people

First of all you didn't say it to me, you said through your exchange with Marty.

Secondly, a phrasing issue or timing issue is easily fixed, and does not make a song terrible.

Thirdly, you said it was terrible

It was meant to insult, don't even argue that.

This is a good song for where it sits.

If you listened to this kind of music, ever, you might hear it differently. Maybe you don't like the style. Fine.

But your not going to say something is terrible when you post the stuff you do .

I don't review your stuff cause you react the same way I am. Only difference is I wanna not make blanket statements, it's ho do you fix the song

The guitar intro...great, the hook, great, the harmonies great.

Some good lines.

As part of my catalogue, it's a fine addition representing that category

Dom, I did not use the word terrible. Show me where I said it was "terrible".


Great Dom. If you're so convinced, then why waste your time with what I wrote?

My robots sound better than your robots that took 20 seconds to make , kinda silly