Hey Mark,

The structure is all there. The sound is there. The lead is great. I'd spend some time on instrumentation, with reference to phrasing and accents especially. There's enough movement in the chord structure to stay away from block chording, and be able to work around the lead vocal. The opening has intersting sonics, then dies away to a flat wash. And you will replace the drums right ? wink

Nice piece. I'd work it up some more and make it shine.

cheers, niteshift