|
6 members (Everett Adams, Fdemetrio, bennash, texritter, 2 invisible),
55,340
guests, and
6,726
robots. |
|
Key:
Admin,
Global Mod,
Mod
|
|
Welcome to the Just Plain Folks forums! You are currently viewing our forums as a Guest which gives you limited access to most of our discussions and to other features.
By joining our free community you will have access to post and respond to topics, communicate privately with our users (PM), respond to polls, upload content, and access many other features. Registration is fast, simple, and absolutely free; so please join our community today!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275
Top 10 Poster
|
Top 10 Poster
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 29,275 |
Hiya Bro Mike!
I've arrived Late as Usual, Alas...but Listened, Penned Comments, & have scanned a few of the Critiques (Saving Harriet's for after I've posted This, so I'll perhaps not be Too-Brilliant here, but I'll at least be honest. It's all JMO, of course, as is everyone's Crit.)
Think it was Shakespeare who said "Most people live lives of quiet desperation"...(So What's Here has been Said Before.) Still, you've said it Well..or at least presented Your CASE pretty well..(Though I'll come back to debate a key line of yours later.)
The Music feels Popsy Beatles-Influenced, while Lyrics were more on the SoundGarden "Black Hole Sun" side...(As I notice Others Have Mentioned here, so I'm not alone on this "Connection" methinks.) Chorus was Distinct & Catchy & Hook was There, tho it got Equal Time with "Ball & Chain"...so ya might wanna add a last line with Hook in it to clear up Confusion.
The PreChorus' "Transparent Cage" IS quite an Image, but (to this Scuba Enthusiast) requires a TON of Visualizing & Mental-Math to figure out How Thick It Has To Be to sink a diver (with its "weight")..How would they SEAL it..too-thin, it's kickable/breakable..etc.-etc. "Transparent" is frankly kinda Distractive, JMO.
"Feels like a cage surrounding me" would suffice with way less Headscratching..perhaps?
LIKE your "Hundred miles the other way" line..THAT one's quite effective Image-Wise.
All-in-all, it's a decent angst-filled song that's not as TOTALLY-hopeless as say, Barry McGuire's "Eve of Destruction". Your last line nicely sums up all those Acne-Filled Years: "Need to get a life before it passes by, hope it's not too late."
Now, the line I wanna debate ya on: "Living with a choice we make does not make it right".
I don't think life is made up of all "Right" or "Wrong" Choices. Every fork in life's road leads SOMEPLACE, & True, SOME places ARE better than others. But.."Contentment" can actually end up making you FAR-Happier than "Achievement" in life, especially if, God Forbid, one's set their sights up Way-TOO-High.
I know of a local Nightclub Singer, now comfortably-retired, who shunned chances to "be a Star" in L.A.--& preferred singing over his piano..to a Tampa Crowd..for over 30 years. Came from a small W.Va Coalmining Town.. "When people ask me why I didn't try to get Further Ahead, it's because they didn't realize How Far I've Come" was a quote of his I've never forgotten. His Choice..& I think that DID make it right..for him. Pat Cole Henry..one of the Nicest, Happiest, Most-Talented Entertainers I've ever met. (Taught me a Lot!)
Good Luck with your song...tho it's too much of a "lament" for me to "enjoy" it..on a personal level.
Big Guy-Hug, Stan
|
|
|
|
We would like to keep the membership in Just Plain Folks FREE! Your donation helps support the many programs we offer including Road Trips and the Music Awards.
|
|
|
Forums118
Topics128,664
Posts1,184,374
Members21,478
| |
Most Online148,207 May 25th, 2026
|
|
|
"If someone is truly a jerk, or truly is not deserving of any positive reply from you, polite indifference is the best response you can give. Do not insult. Do not slam. Do not follow the urge to be nasty. Simply be politely indifferent." –Brian Austin Whitney
|
|
|
There are no members with birthdays on this day. |
|
|
|