Hi Scott

Well I like the spirit of the song and the contrast of singer to subject... Definitely like where you go melodically and I really like how the piano part chugs along like its own master but does not interfere with the lyric story line in my mind. Makes me think of Linus playing along with Snoopy's thought bubbles. I like it. smile

I see that you have a couple of thoughts on changing the vs melody and I did not notice the sameness as I listened twice so I'm thinking you don't have to do too much.

Lyrically, I thought a couple of places could smooth out.... sometimes it happens with more running through, but here I think it would work to use the same format in line one and three...

Sunny, you'd use to say that we were the perfect blend
We both had our roles to play, I held up my end
Sunny you’d see beauty in the darkening skies
I guess one day you realized, it came with a price

anyway - it's another very cool song overall - keep writing and you sure have a way with the piano for a beginner ! smile jm


perfection is unattainable, excellence is totally within reach

http://www.youtube.com/joicemarie
http://www.myspace.com/lemonmcfartney