How many guitarists does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one -- he holds on to the bulb and the world revolves around him.

After a shipwreck, a suvivor washes up on an uncharted island. Some of the native people find him on the beach and take him to their village.

When he awakes, he realizes what happened and thanks the natives for rescuing him.
"Our pleasure," says one of the natives (who, fortunately for the joke, speak English.)

The man notices that off in the distance someone is playing what sounds like a large number of drums, and he asks why.

The native he was speaking to gets a frightened look on his face and says in a whisper, "We don't like to talk about the drums. When the drums stop, the bad thing happens."

So the man tries to ignore the drums, but he can't. What's the "bad thing?" He's the stranger ... what if the "bad thing" targets him?

A week goes by, and he can't eat, he can't sleep, he's losing weight and constantly listening to the drums day and night, afraid they're going to stop.

Every time he asks one of the villagers they repeat what the first one said: "Don't talk about the drums. When the drums stop, the bad thing happens."

Finally, he can't stand it anymore and goes to see the village chief. He falls to his knees. "Please," he wails. "I so afraid. I can't sleep or eat -- I'm going crazy. Can't you tell me what the bad thing is?"

"Bass solo."

Three of us in my band play both guitar and bass. A joke for each. Forgive me if you've heard them.