Originally Posted by Fdemetrio
Ai indoctrination is too clumsy of a word, sometimes a word like that sings, that doesnt.

And you're being too literal

Daddy worked the rail yard, momma worked the school
We learned from dusty Bibles and the evening news
Now my phone keeps tellin’ me, what I oughta think
Every swipe gets deeper till I’m too tired to blink

The first two lines have nothing to do with the second two.

What does daddy working railroads, or mom working school, have to do with your phone telling you how to think?

Didn't the Bible tell you how to think?

Used to chase the truth down a backroad FM dial
Now it comes pre-packaged in a never-ending file
Everybody’s talkin’, but it don’t feel the same
Like a thousand borrowed voices callin’ out my name

Again, none of this relates to the other, and none of it points to the hook, which is the idea of it

Theres not alot of fluidity in your words, its ackeard reading it

If your trying to say times have changed. That's fine. Ive written several .

Your chorus, again all unrelated withiut effort to try to syrung it together.

My advice is to write about one specific thing, snd follow it all the way through.

Trying to make too many points, and none of them come thriugh


The music is not my thing but it all is disconnected e ct3d

Dom,
The song was written more like a theatrical glam-rock piece than a traditional tightly-focused country lyric, so I leaned more into mood, imagery, and exaggeration than linear storytelling. The contrast between “real-world upbringing” and “digital influence” was intentional.

The lines do relate to each other, even if you personally didn’t connect with them. A lot of people actually understood exactly what I was going for.
And you’re right — “AI indoctrination” is definitely a clumsy phrase to sing. That was part of the challenge that interested me in the first place.

Anyway, I appreciate you taking the time to listen and comment.