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Afro Pop
by Raymond Byabazaire - 10/01/26 12:39 PM
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Afro Pop
by Raymond Byabazaire - 10/01/26 12:38 PM
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Gone
by Michael W. Brown - 09/30/26 07:17 PM
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Mara Cole
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/30/26 01:32 PM
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Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 413
Serious Contributor
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OP
Serious Contributor
Joined: Jun 2003
Posts: 413 |
thumbs up, thumbs down
why everything such a run around
why so much confusion
cant i ever be right ?
holding my breath
i cant remember to breathe
your too demanding on me ..
( chorus )
ya never know when ill one
day have my own opinions
you think ill forever be
defeated by you ..
tormented daily
jealousy from you
drowning under your watch
ive got to break free
im falling in your
cloud full of angst
( chorus )
ya never know when ill one
day have my own opinions
you think ill forever be
defeated by you ..
i wont be broken again
ive to leave
i cant keep this
game going anymore
im falling again ...
( laughing ) haha ...
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 842
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 842 |
well...I like the other two I have read of yours so far but this one confused me....
now one thing...try and put more punctuation in...I don't get mine exact and perfect either but some words unpunctuated are other words...
and some of the words you do use in this...I don't think you got the right form of them...they don't make sense...just kinda like you threw a noun in where you meant to put an adjective...or whatever...
anyway just work on it and I will read it again if you update and give you another critique....keep writing
------------------
Hey go comment on my bands site if you get the time..
Rockito Ergo Sum
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Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 162
Serious Contributor
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Serious Contributor
Joined: Jul 2003
Posts: 162 |
I like this a lot.....very good nikki!
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"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
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