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Max Ceddo
by Gary E. Andrews - 08/27/26 11:50 PM
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Tin Lung
by Gary E. Andrews - 08/27/26 04:12 PM
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TV Drama
by Gary E. Andrews - 08/26/26 03:19 PM
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TV Drama
by Raymond Byabazaire - 08/26/26 12:29 AM
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Wendy Woo
by Gary E. Andrews - 08/22/26 12:36 AM
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Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,700 Likes: 2
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Aug 2008
Posts: 4,700 Likes: 2 |
I see you two are flying.  I'd suggest not using the hook in the verses. Give the listeners' ears something fresh and new in the chorus (where you could have it at the beginning and the end). Sometimes 'less is more'.  I'm with Kevin re V2. Suggest rewriting that. Maybe in V1 have the guy a songwriter who hadn't been able to find real inspiration until he met the girl. Then V2 could be about the girl, and the things she does to inspire him. That would carry the story forward. Just a random thought. Also suggest keeping the chorus the same throughout. This will make for a punchier, simpler tune, and easier for people to sing along to. Suggest having the first chorus after V1; don't keep folks waiting. Your structure could be V/Ch/V/Ch/Br (maybe instrumental)/Ch. Anyway, KOS. Carry on. Donna
Honour the Earth. Without it, we'd be nowhere.
Life is too important to take seriously.
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