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Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 2
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: May 2007
Posts: 3,831 Likes: 2 |
Hi AJ,
I don’t know if you’re just sharing or looking for crits, but I’ll say that this comes across as a heartfelt, gentle song. You may want to keep it in 3rd person and switch “you” in the first line to “her” to be consistent. If you look to switch it up, like Tammy mentioned, I can hear the instrumental right before the “I’d love to make her happy” verse. Especially enjoyed this:
Today she gets up one more time
and musters up a smile
Happy thoughts come once again
If only for awhile
Enjoyed the guitar!
Kristi
A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write,
if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be,
he must be. -- Abraham Maslow, American Psychologist
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