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9 members (texritter, Sunset Poet, Fdemetrio, bennash, David Gill, Everett Adams, Gary E. Andrews, 2 invisible),
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Florida
by Rob B. - 05/09/26 02:39 PM
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Max Ceddo
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/09/26 12:54 PM
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Real Deal
by Brian Austin Whitney - 05/07/26 01:38 AM
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Flyte
by Gary E. Andrews - 05/06/26 05:36 PM
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Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386
Top 30 Poster
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Top 30 Poster
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 7,386 |
Hey Kim & Vic,
Nice work you two. I loved the Johnny Cash-like musication and the wealth of strong lines, such as:
I’ve ridden high enough to kick around the clouds Then in a turn, felt buried ,knee deep in the ground
&
Now that silver threads run through my hair I remember the rocky roads that put 'um there
Still, like Colin, I guess I'd like to know a bit more about what brought him to this place. It doesn't have to be dramatic -- like he just got diagnosed with some fatal disease -- but maybe he's waiting for someone/something at a train station?
Along those lines, I'm not quite sure what you mean by the second line in the chorus. I think you could get some more bang for your buck there. How about something like:
Time is like a train PASSING BY ME AT THE STATION Time is like a train To an unknown destination
That aside, I think this has a lot of potential. I look forward to seeing where you take it.
Good luck, Beth
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Entire Thread
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Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/13/10 12:33 AM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Colin Ward
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12/13/10 03:00 AM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Beth G. Williams
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12/13/10 05:17 AM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Mackie H.
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12/13/10 06:13 AM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Dottie
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12/13/10 06:28 AM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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coalminer
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12/13/10 07:50 AM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Polly Hager (D)
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12/13/10 08:13 AM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/13/10 05:27 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/13/10 05:32 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/13/10 05:55 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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R. Shayne Vaughan
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12/13/10 08:22 AM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/13/10 02:13 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/13/10 02:17 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/13/10 02:28 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Kevin Emmrich
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12/13/10 03:10 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/13/10 03:40 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Andy Kemp
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12/13/10 04:43 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/13/10 11:16 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Linda Sings
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12/14/10 11:51 AM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Colin Ward
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12/14/10 01:44 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/14/10 04:50 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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TamsNumber4
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12/15/10 07:08 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Nathan Baker
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12/16/10 10:29 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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KimberlyinNC
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12/17/10 04:53 AM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Ott Lukk (D)
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12/17/10 06:51 AM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/21/10 08:21 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/21/10 08:23 PM
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Re: Time is like a train, coll. Kimberly and Vicarn
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Vicarn
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12/13/10 09:48 PM
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