Ha - thought I'd check back with this to see what version you were on smile

Hey this is coming out great - that chorus is superb. smile

Can't think of much to suggest - occurs to me that you could stick a bridge before the repeat of the chorus at the end. Would still be of a manageable length and you could add some to the story.

Doesn't feel like it particularly needs it - might just flesh him out a little more....

Really digging this...

Scott