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Bayside
by Gary E. Andrews - 10/19/26 10:48 PM
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Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,824
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Jan 2003
Posts: 1,824 |
Kevin this is a really GREAT piece of writing. My ONLY nit is the way the "get to be" reads with the "thirty". Have you thought about trying to make it more of a rhyme there....doesn't have to be cheesy or a perfect rhyme but just maybe something that makes it flow more smoothly. I dunno...maybe something along the lines of: AND NOW IT FEELS LIKE IT'S TOO EARLY TO BE LOOKING SO FAR BACK AT THIRTY JUST a suggestion and only my opinion. Even if you leave it alone, it's a wonderful piece! Great job. Thanks for sharing.  Cindy
Last edited by Cindy LaRosa; 04/17/08 12:26 AM.
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