Wendy,

really strong, great potential on this one. think you need to focus on making the melody flow more smoothly by cutting out unnecessary syllables.

examples/suggestions:

Cause there were bats in the belfry - change "cause there were" to "with"

Like a snake and a Dodo bird - change to "a snake and dodo bird"

I'm driving to my sweet release - change to "i'll drive" or "i drive"

or change

But out here on this highway
I'm driving to my sweet release

to

I'm driving on this highway
To my sweet release

also, the s's on this are a bit distracting - i know snakes and s's go together but still seemed like a hard to sing line

And the other hissed mean words


the harmonies are pretty good just not in sync and not well balanced between singers. i'm sure this can be cleaned up with an updated recording.


I've been listening to Robert Plant and Alison Kraus' album - fantastic. I could see this song done up with a real tight production and rock solid harmonies.

this song is a good example of where yours could go..
Robert Plant & Alison Kraus - Killing The Blues
http://youtube.com/watch?v=dtpeLia33PY

..ant

My albums "Rhythms of Life" and "Out On The Road" are on Bandcamp, Spotify and Apple Music.