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Florida
by bennash - 06/07/26 09:34 PM
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Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,448
Top 100 Poster
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Top 100 Poster
Joined: Oct 2002
Posts: 2,448 |
John
Good simple and forceful! Creates a mind picture right away with the action...
Love the play on words hook....Captures attention.
You might want to say..."just barely missing you"....Just a flow idea.
Kinda like Harry's suggestion on the "it's my life"
Love to hear it.
Eric
If you're going to judge someone, do it on the side of mercy.
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