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RY X
by Gary E. Andrews - 09/21/26 04:03 PM
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 971
Top 500 Poster
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Top 500 Poster
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 971 |
Evening, Dan, Well, the title sucked me right in. Very clever. I hate to 'critique', with so many flaws of my own, but I noticed a couple of things... maybe shorten the 6th line of the chorus to 'this table ain't a witness stand' since you've already placed her in the kitchen in the above verse... then the 2nd line, 2nd verse, maybe 'not to someone sweet as me'. Just those two little things, otherwise, it's great. I really enjoyed reading this. Very creative, ***** and two thumbs up. Blessings tonight...Clark ![[Linked Image]](http://www.justplainfolks.org/ubb/smile.gif)
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"If you are stuck in your musical composing, be unreasonable. Change your environment. If you are stuck in your lyrical efforts, instead of forcing the same old words out, force yourself to do unreasonable things." -Brian Austin Whitney
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